Black Metal Vegan Burns Down Church's Chicken
Wetumpka, Ala. – Shortly after fire crews responded to an alleged arson at a local Church’s Chicken late last night, one member of the Alabama black metal scene came forward to claim responsibility for the blaze.

When asked about his issue with Church’s Chicken directly, Nyxx explained, “That place is the lovechild of the two things in this world I despise most: Processed meat stripped from abused and inhumanely treated animals, and organized religion. I saw it as a sort of ‘two birds, one stone’ opportunity. Anyone who bows to an empty God or eats a bucket of drumsticks for dinner is part of America’s biggest problem. You people are why I want to just move to the dark woods of Norway and be done with this hellhole of a country.”

For the record, the alleged arsonist probably saved several thousands of lives. Those birds are fried in a double dose of heavy hydrogenated trans fat grease.
By: spam_vigilante
Tuesday, May 29th 2018 (2:03am)
[Comments: 1]
dave From: dave SAINTS, BABY!!!
Date: 5/29/18 @ 03:41 PM

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