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onemanarmy From: onemanarmy
Date: 10/21/13 @ 12:25 PM
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Hello
dave From: dave SAINTS, BABY!!!
Date: 10/21/13 @ 01:01 PM
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Sup OMA. Happy birthday!
onemanarmy From: onemanarmy
Date: 10/21/13 @ 01:05 PM
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:) thankee
how you?
TheRainKing From: TheRainKing - defined by me - no one else
Date: 10/21/13 @ 01:12 PM
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Hello.
onemanarmy From: onemanarmy
Date: 10/21/13 @ 01:13 PM
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sup bro-dy
dave From: dave SAINTS, BABY!!!
Date: 10/21/13 @ 01:15 PM
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Reeling from spun's announcement, for sure. Also kind of achey, walked a 5k AIDS thing yesterday and my ankles would like very much to explode.
onemanarmy From: onemanarmy
Date: 10/21/13 @ 01:16 PM
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i moved a bunch of wood yesterday, got the nice aches from that tho
dave From: dave SAINTS, BABY!!!
Date: 10/21/13 @ 01:17 PM
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Fucking age. This shit used to roll off my back when I was a kid.
onemanarmy From: onemanarmy
Date: 10/21/13 @ 01:20 PM
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become one with the source
TheRainKing From: TheRainKing - defined by me - no one else
Date: 10/21/13 @ 01:22 PM
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Hey Paul, Dave.

I feel awful about how I went out on Fazed, but what a great opportunity for redemption.
From: anonymous
Date: 10/21/13 @ 01:23 PM
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opma is already here?
Screwbacca From: Screwbacca
Date: 10/21/13 @ 01:23 PM
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dibs mofos
onemanarmy From: onemanarmy
Date: 10/21/13 @ 01:23 PM
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opma is already here?


this CAN'T follow me it just can't :(:(:(
babagiveitem From: babagiveitem is fighting a war someone else lost.
Date: 10/21/13 @ 02:15 PM
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lol
babagiveitem From: babagiveitem is fighting a war someone else lost.
Date: 10/21/13 @ 02:15 PM
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the selection for avatars is hilarious, btw.
dave From: dave SAINTS, BABY!!!
Date: 10/21/13 @ 04:01 PM
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TheRainKing said:I feel awful about how I went out on Fazed, but what a great opportunity for redemption.

...what? I missed this, how'd you go out?
TheRainKing From: TheRainKing - defined by me - no one else
Date: 10/21/13 @ 04:18 PM
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Rock bottom, consumed by self hatred, drunk, lashing out, etc...

It wasn't pretty.
dave From: dave SAINTS, BABY!!!
Date: 10/21/13 @ 04:36 PM
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If me bagging on the Miata contributed to that, sorry.
TheRainKing From: TheRainKing - defined by me - no one else
Date: 10/21/13 @ 05:02 PM
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Heh. Not at all, Dave. It was all me. I accept full responsibility for my actions. I was a very troubled person, and my behavior was deplorable.

Nobody pushed me to that point, I just lost myself completely.

dave From: dave SAINTS, BABY!!!
Date: 10/21/13 @ 05:58 PM
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Well, hopefully you were able to glean something positive from it, perhaps some new insight on yourself or a particularly effective way to undermine someone else's confidence in the heat of battle. There's usually some upside if you look for it.
TheRainKing From: TheRainKing - defined by me - no one else
Date: 10/21/13 @ 06:24 PM
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I can't even express how much insight on myself I've gained. I know myself for the first time in over two decades. I know me. I accept me. I am a flawed human being and I've made plenty of mistakes in my life. I've forgiven myself and any imperfections or mistakes are out in the open for all to see. I don't hide from who I am anymore.

Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, I've never been in a better place. Forgiving and accepting myself truly opened the flood gates and changed my entire existence.
I know longer feel the need to constantly punish myself. I am happy with the real me. I'm satisfied with who I am. I don't feel the need to constantly punish myself, or constantly prove myself to others.

I found inner peace. It's wonderful.

I know there is no destination, no end to the path I'm going down. Rather, constant movement and evolution. There is no finish line and I will never reach my full potential. All I can do is keep going.

Great feeling.
TheRainKing From: TheRainKing - defined by me - no one else
Date: 10/21/13 @ 06:25 PM
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No longer. Not know longer.
TheRainKing From: TheRainKing - defined by me - no one else
Date: 10/21/13 @ 06:38 PM
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dave From: dave SAINTS, BABY!!!
Date: 10/21/13 @ 06:50 PM
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Congrats on your growth moment, however ugly it may have been to go through. It's not the easy times that define us.
TheRainKing From: TheRainKing - defined by me - no one else
Date: 10/21/13 @ 07:36 PM
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Thank you. It was ugly. And never easy. In fact I pretty much made my life as hard as possible. Never really knew why, but now I'm glad I did, I know that I'm strong enough to get beyond anything put in front of me.
And finally wise enough to know that I don't have to turn everything into a fight or a struggle or a battle. And I realized that every fight, every battle, the years of struggle, all of it was internal. I was my own opponent. I lashed out and fought with others, but the only person I ever really had a quarrel with was myself.

Once I stepped outside of myself and saw all these things, I made peace with myself.
Changed my life. Opened my eyes and saw truth and reality for the first time.


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