| QUESTION | | TOP ANSWER | | VOTES | | ASKED |
| Your most productive day of the week? | | Tomorrow (35%) | | 20 | | 03/04/18 |
| Best Song About Masturbation | | Cyndi Lauper: She Bop (16%) | | 50 | | 11/22/17 |
| How often do you change your sheets? | | Weekly (26%) | | 19 | | 10/23/17 |
| Are you a vampire? | | Yeah (25%) | | 32 | | 08/18/17 |
| It's summer! What's your favorite produce? | | Sweet corn (35%) | | 17 | | 07/30/17 |
| What do you take for a headache? | | Aspirin (27%) | | 26 | | 07/09/17 |
| Best Dracula? | | Bela Lugosi (47%) | | 19 | | 06/15/17 |
| Best multi-word-named classic rock band that's commonly referred to by a single word: | | Maiden (21%) | | 19 | | 05/12/17 |
| Best Star Wars Movie EVAR? | | Never seen any of 'em (33%) | | 30 | | 04/05/17 |
| What's the most useful button on your remote control? | | Guide (21%) | | 19 | | 03/13/17 |
| What were you drinking when you realized you could have had a V8? | | Vodka (33%) | | 9 | | 02/23/17 |
| Most Important Item for You to Keep the Battery Charged | | Your car (36%) | | 22 | | 01/24/17 |
| Best AS SEEN ON TV product evar? | | Pocket Fisherman (29%) | | 28 | | 12/14/16 |
| Hardest thing to explain to a reanimated 2000 year old man | | Interwebs (20%) | | 15 | | 12/01/16 |
| Best football-watching food? | | pizza (30%) | | 20 | | 11/03/16 |
| You have to move to the moon. What will you miss the most? | | looking at the moon (25%) | | 40 | | 09/27/16 |
| Who's Your Favorite Dead Comedian? | | Mitch Hedberg (22%) | | 37 | | 08/20/16 |
| Best Atari 2600 game? | | Adventure (28%) | | 47 | | 07/07/16 |
| WHAT SAY YOU? | | nay (38%) | | 52 | | 04/23/16 |
| Best game show host ever? | | Gene Rayburn (27%) | | 30 | | 03/31/16 |
| Best season? | | Wabbit (30%) | | 30 | | 02/24/16 |
| Favorite sandwich? | | Pastrami on rye (19%) | | 67 | | 12/15/15 |
| You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen. Dancing queen, feel that beat from the _________. | | trampoline (30%) | | 10 | | 12/05/15 |
| How long does it take you to shit? | | Until my legs go numb (33%) | | 18 | | 11/20/15 |
| Best Batman villain? | | Catwoman (36%) | | 22 | | 10/31/15 |
| Halloween is fast approaching. Choose your favorite game: | | Find the razor blade (50%) | | 10 | | 10/23/15 |
| What Star Trek stuff do you want the most? | | Hot green chicks (39%) | | 33 | | 10/04/15 |
| Would you rather... | | Floss teeth with piano wire (36%) | | 11 | | 09/24/15 |
| There's a delivery guy at the door. Do you turn off the porn? | | No (44%) | | 32 | | 08/23/15 |
| Toughest Decision | | Fight or Flight? (28%) | | 25 | | 08/11/15 |
| Best substitute for tofu? | | meat (71%) | | 21 | | 08/03/15 |
| BEST AVENGER EVAR? | | Captain America (24%) | | 50 | | 07/05/15 |
| After a drought kills all the coconuts, the residents of Gilligan's Island turn cannibal. Who gets eaten first? | | Skipper (33%) | | 21 | | 06/21/15 |
| Best Filling or Side Dish to an Omelet? | | Cheese (20%) | | 20 | | 06/06/15 |
| What kind of music do you want played at your funeral? | | classic rock (44%) | | 18 | | 05/13/15 |
| I don't know but I've been told | | Eskimo pussy is mighty cold (72%) | | 25 | | 04/22/15 |
| What is your favorite non-swearing exclamation? | | Darn (24%) | | 17 | | 04/06/15 |
| Best bar game? | | Pinball (33%) | | 33 | | 02/26/15 |
| What Would You Do During the Next Zombie Apocalypse? | | Taste Delicious (50%) | | 30 | | 01/23/15 |
| Best use for Jell-O pudding? | | dessert (24%) | | 21 | | 01/03/15 |
| Favorite Cookie? | | Thin Mints (27%) | | 30 | | 12/08/14 |
| Best in-the-turkey stuffing for Thanksgiving? | | White Castle hamburgers (38%) | | 13 | | 11/26/14 |
| Best snack at the movie theatre? | | Boogers (25%) | | 36 | | 10/25/14 |
| THE GAME | | GODDAMMIT (48%) | | 25 | | 10/12/14 |
| Whatcha thinkin' about? | | football (32%) | | 31 | | 09/22/14 |
| Favorite TV Reruns You Can't Get Enough Of? | | Joy of Painting (26%) | | 42 | | 08/25/14 |
| Best pizza topping? | | sausage (66%) | | 56 | | 08/18/14 |
| What do you call sprinkles on ice cream cones? | | Jimmies (56%) | | 9 | | 08/10/14 |
| Greatest contribution to making modern cities possible? | | Indoor plumbing (29%) | | 34 | | 07/20/14 |
| The secret ingredient is... | | salt (25%) | | 32 | | 06/23/14 |
| How many sheets of toilet paper do you use? | | Half the damned roll. (36%) | | 14 | | 05/30/14 |
| How much should you spend on a pair of sunglasses? | | less than 10 bucks (33%) | | 24 | | 05/16/14 |
| Now that KISS has an Arena Football team, what other entity should follow suit in the next league expansion? | | Oprah (24%) | | 25 | | 05/02/14 |
| Best Snack Food Company | | Lance (30%) | | 20 | | 04/21/14 |
| Do you swear too much? | | Shit no (46%) | | 28 | | 04/05/14 |
| Best ingredient to make your tuna salad crunchy? | | potato chips (20%) | | 20 | | 03/25/14 |
| You buy a time machine at a yard sale, and amazingly, it actually works. Where do you go first? | | Distant future (37%) | | 30 | | 03/06/14 |
| BEST ROBOT EVAR | | Tom Servo (16%) | | 32 | | 01/29/14 |
| What do you wish you'd gotten done in 2013 that you didn't? | | bought into Bitcoin (27%) | | 30 | | 12/30/13 |
| BEST DOCTOR EVAR | | McCoy (39%) | | 54 | | 12/11/13 |
| If you could wish one insect permenantly off the planet, which one would you get rid of? | | scorpions (23%) | | 40 | | 11/12/13 |
| Favorite beer? | | Guinness. Watch the cascade. (36%) | | 25 | | 10/29/13 |
| Favorite State Fair activity? | | Deep-fried everything (30%) | | 30 | | 10/18/13 |
| Best burger topping? | | Bun (22%) | | 27 | | 09/30/13 |
| Best yardwork-themed band of all time? | | Queensrake (30%) | | 30 | | 09/19/13 |
| Yep, you've been cursed. What are you afflicted with? | | Change gender after every sneeze (22%) | | 36 | | 09/02/13 |
| CALL IT IN THE AIR | | HEADS (32%) | | 41 | | 08/02/13 |
| A Plate of BBQ Ribs: What's the Best Side? | | Napkins (21%) | | 24 | | 07/18/13 |
| Worst Middle-of-the-Night Noise? | | Gilbert Gottfried (51%) | | 35 | | 06/16/13 |
| Worst person to be trapped in an elevator with? | | coked-up Robin Williams (17%) | | 30 | | 06/02/13 |
| Best beverage of all time? | | chocolate milk (20%) | | 50 | | 05/05/13 |
| Best Pet You Ever Had? | | Cat (38%) | | 40 | | 04/18/13 |
| Biggest fivehead? | | Peyton Manning (25%) | | 28 | | 04/03/13 |
| MASHED POTATOES! | | cream gravy (22%) | | 50 | | 03/12/13 |
| Best power trio of all time? | | Cream (24%) | | 50 | | 02/27/13 |
| You find a magic lamp and rub it, a genie appears and grants you one wish - what do you wish for? | | power (23%) | | 22 | | 02/16/13 |
| Best Way to Save Time When Getting Ready in the Morning? | | Kiss door, slam wife shut (25%) | | 20 | | 02/04/13 |
| Who'll win the Super Bowl this year? | | Don't care (30%) | | 53 | | 01/12/13 |
| Coolest thing about the Fonz? | | the motorcycle (27%) | | 30 | | 12/31/12 |
| Pistachios That Will Not Open? | | Trash (40%) | | 15 | | 12/25/12 |
| Best Christmas TV Special? | | A Charlie Brown Christmas (27%) | | 15 | | 12/19/12 |
| Worst hair? | | Comb-over (39%) | | 23 | | 12/07/12 |
| Best arcade videogame of 1980? | | Pac-Man (28%) | | 54 | | 11/11/12 |
| Best Thing About the Presidential Election Being Over | | No more political ads on TV (40%) | | 10 | | 11/07/12 |
| I ____ candy corn | | H8 (36%) | | 25 | | 10/28/12 |
| Best Captain? | | Kirk (27%) | | 30 | | 10/19/12 |
| Best Euphemism for Death | | Bought the farm (30%) | | 20 | | 10/10/12 |
| Best breakfast meat? | | Bacon (36%) | | 25 | | 10/01/12 |
| Best Pants Movie Ever? | | The Silence of the Pants (20%) | | 25 | | 09/19/12 |
| Worst Bathroom Incident | | GameBoy in the toilet (32%) | | 25 | | 09/04/12 |
| Cake or death? | | Cake, please (63%) | | 30 | | 08/19/12 |
| Next big vending-machine food craze? | | Pepsi With Meatballs (25%) | | 20 | | 08/10/12 |
| Best new Olympic sport? | | Mad Libs (23%) | | 35 | | 07/26/12 |
| You're driving and come up on a traffic light that just turned amber. | | Gun it. You can beat the red. (28%) | | 25 | | 07/18/12 |
| Delivery Pizza Disappointments? | | Cheese stuck on box top (28%) | | 25 | | 07/09/12 |
| Best method of birth control? | | mime (24%) | | 25 | | 06/28/12 |
| Best Smell on Earth? | | BBQ (37%) | | 30 | | 06/17/12 |
| Best Flavor Wood for Your BBQ Smoker? | | Mesquite (36%) | | 25 | | 06/06/12 |
| Favorite Toilet Paper | | Squirrels (32%) | | 25 | | 05/17/12 |
| Favorite four lettered word? | | Fuck (60%) | | 20 | | 05/08/12 |
| Voting for US President? | | Independent (37%) | | 30 | | 05/01/12 |
| China? | | Buffet (50%) | | 30 | | 04/09/12 |
| You are a bread man made out of bread, and you just got butter on yourself. Is that OK? | | Depends if you're toasted (45%) | | 20 | | 03/30/12 |
| How do you like your eggs? | | Raised to adulthood and baked (31%) | | 32 | | 03/09/12 |
| Best Quentin Tarantino-directed movie? | | Pulp Fiction (23%) | | 30 | | 02/22/12 |
| If money were no object, what would be the driving force in your career? | | What career? (50%) | | 20 | | 02/14/12 |
| Best celebrity to have record your answering machine message? | | Helen Keller (28%) | | 25 | | 02/05/12 |
| Dog? | | SQUIRREL (30%) | | 20 | | 01/31/12 |
| Why no one cares | | Fuck salt (34%) | | 50 | | 01/21/12 |
| The Mayan calendar ends 12/21/12. Some think this means the end of the world. What does Dec 21, 2012 REALLY signify? | | Absolutely nothing (43%) | | 35 | | 01/09/12 |
| Best topping for Tuna Helper? | | beer (30%) | | 20 | | 01/03/12 |
| So what did you get for Christmas? | | more disillusioned (51%) | | 35 | | 12/25/11 |
| What should the NEXT poll be about? | | Who the fuck cares? (31%) | | 26 | | 12/13/11 |
| Fuckin' 2 million hits this year? Who do we credit? | | The occasional SMUT post (34%) | | 50 | | 11/30/11 |
| Why? | | What was the question again? (30%) | | 30 | | 11/21/11 |
| Favorite dessert? | | Pie (53%) | | 30 | | 11/07/11 |
| What were you drinking when you realized you could have had a V8? | | Yoo Hoo (28%) | | 25 | | 10/31/11 |
| Best Saturday morning cereal? | | Cap'n Crunch (17%) | | 35 | | 10/16/11 |
| Why driving sucks | | Drivers don't use directionals (30%) | | 33 | | 10/07/11 |
| Your most embarassing biological feature? | | French-speaking tapeworms (23%) | | 30 | | 09/30/11 |
| My pet is really great because | | Sniffs visitors in the crotch (28%) | | 25 | | 09/26/11 |
| How many hotdogs can you eat in 5 minutes? | | I don't eat hotdogs (27%) | | 33 | | 09/19/11 |
| Where do you get your TV news from? | | Daily Show (40%) | | 25 | | 09/14/11 |
| Can't sleep? | | More coffee (35%) | | 26 | | 09/07/11 |
| Best euphemism for diarrhea? | | Hershey squirts (39%) | | 33 | | 08/29/11 |
| Little Timmy is trapped in the well! What do you do? | | Taunt Timmy from the top (48%) | | 33 | | 08/21/11 |
| Best sexual position? | | In a foxhole (28%) | | 25 | | 08/13/11 |
| You put a brownie in my cloning device, didn't you? | | Yes (48%) | | 25 | | 08/07/11 |
| Humans are the only animal that are... | | Believers in the supernatural (40%) | | 25 | | 07/28/11 |
| Worst way to die? | | Old age (33%) | | 30 | | 07/16/11 |
| Best Way to Tell Someone Their Fly is Open | | Your pod bay door is open, Hal (35%) | | 20 | | 07/01/11 |
| Best euphemism for menstruation: | | Taking Carrie to the Prom (35%) | | 37 | | 06/15/11 |
| YUP is way cooler than thumbs up/down because: | | Unregistered users have no clue (29%) | | 31 | | 06/07/11 |
| Best meat to make shoes with? | | flank steak (28%) | | 36 | | 05/26/11 |
| Best Cracker Jack prize? | | tattoos (41%) | | 51 | | 05/11/11 |
| Best royal wedding ever? | | Humperdinck and Buttercup (57%) | | 42 | | 04/29/11 |
| Scientists have declared with absolute certainty that all life will be destroyed by an asteroid impact in exactly 48 hours. How do you spend your remaining time? | | big time fuckin' (34%) | | 50 | | 04/23/11 |
| Best euphemism for female masturbation: | | The disappearing finger trick (27%) | | 30 | | 04/16/11 |
| Best euphemism for male masturbation: | | Rubbing one out (23%) | | 31 | | 04/10/11 |
| The main idea of driving is to: | | Get away from THE MAN (32%) | | 25 | | 04/02/11 |
| Best drive-thru breakfast? | | Whataburger (24%) | | 25 | | 03/25/11 |
| Best euphemism for shitting? | | Drop the kids off at the pool (45%) | | 29 | | 03/11/11 |
| What's the worst thing to find when biting into an apple? | | half a worm (44%) | | 25 | | 03/05/11 |
| Ketchup is... | | A condiment (32%) | | 25 | | 02/26/11 |
| Best euphemism for female genitalia? | | twat (31%) | | 26 | | 02/19/11 |
| Favorite brand of peanut butter? | | No diff, all the same (30%) | | 30 | | 02/06/11 |
| Who's going to win the Super Bowl? | | Globetrotters (26%) | | 86 | | 01/18/11 |
| In 20 years, what will be our primary mode of transportation? | | car (21%) | | 24 | | 01/09/11 |
| Which New Year's resolution are you really for sure serious about this year? | | learn klingon (35%) | | 20 | | 12/31/10 |
| Best gravy? | | sausage (30%) | | 20 | | 12/21/10 |
| Marijuana should be... | | fully decriminalized (32%) | | 25 | | 12/09/10 |
| Who should be the villain in the next Batman movie? | | meth-addicted Alfred (36%) | | 28 | | 12/03/10 |
| What was in your Thanksgiving turkey? | | nothing (36%) | | 22 | | 11/25/10 |
| BATTLE: Empty swimming pool, in the bottom is a half dozen 20-lb river otters with switchblades vs. an 8-foot alligator with a machete strapped to his tail. In a fight to the death, who wins? | | otters (55%) | | 22 | | 11/19/10 |
| Best answer to when someone walks into your bedroom and asks if you are sleeping? | | No, dead. Leave flowers; get out (44%) | | 32 | | 11/10/10 |
| Best Halloween Candy? | | Snickers (40%) | | 50 | | 10/26/10 |
| Most awesome super power? | | super bendy thumb (25%) | | 48 | | 10/14/10 |
| Best excuse for speeding? | | bong rolled under brake pedal (42%) | | 50 | | 10/08/10 |
| Next secret ingredient on Iron Chef? | | syrup of ipecac (30%) | | 47 | | 10/06/10 |
| If you could be any kind of fabric, what fabric would you be? | | Naugahyde (24%) | | 50 | | 10/01/10 |
