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Saturday, June 1st 2002
The problem with crack is that is keeps you up all night, making it harder to maintain a normal lifestyle with work, school, banking, all kinds of daytime stuff, because you're always catching up on sleep during the daylight hours. Well, say hello to "Crack P.M.", a new cocaine product with a sleep additive that lets addicts get high but still enjoy the health benefits of a full night's rest.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 1st 2002 (12:03am)
If you're not familiar with 'slash fiction', it's dirty stories about famous characters - originally Kirk/Spock (hence the term 'slash') gay romances, that kind of thing. The genre encompasses a wide variety of characters, but even this is a stretch: Garfield in Lasagna Pookie.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 1st 2002 (12:02am)
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Friday, May 31st 2002
This week I go one on one with the suave one... Ben Affleck! Plus get all the latest news and gossip in Hollowood that you missed! Get to clickin', yer momma does!
By: Scott
Friday, May 31st 2002 (4:48pm)
Now THIS is what I call a album review!
By: Dave
Friday, May 31st 2002 (12:32am)
A 13-year-old Brooklyn boy stunned his teacher yesterday when he brought preserved Siamese twin fetuses to school for a macabre show-and-tell session, officials said.
By: Dave
Friday, May 31st 2002 (12:32am)
Hey, remember Poke The Bunny? Now you can expand your animal harrassment empire with Poke The Penguin!
By: Dave
Friday, May 31st 2002 (12:12am)
There's nothing more amusing than some tragically white waif trying to talk street... except maybe some tragically white waif trying to TYPE street, with a healthy dose of k-r4d thrown in for extra legitimacy. You go, grrl.
By: Dave
Friday, May 31st 2002 (12:06am)
If the habits is like narcotics, we all - addicted. And I am your detox. Because I break your limiting rules. Because I'll eat your shit. I am.
By: Dave
Friday, May 31st 2002 (12:06am)
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Thursday, May 30th 2002
Bummer - the Bat Phone has been disconnected due to 900-number abuse. I blame Dick.
By: Dave
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:16am)
It's the deal of a lifetime - a haunted fortune-telling Walkman! I wonder if it can pick horses and stocks?
By: Dave
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:16am)
If people don't think you're strange enough as it is (hard to believe, considering you're HERE and all), try chasing them around the office with a puppet likeness of yourself. That should do it.
By: Dave
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:16am)
Why are they called Camel spiders? Brace yourself:

Camels are their most famous prey. They will wait half buried under sand or lie in waiting in whatever rocks or shrubbery.... and then run to the underbelly of a passing camel. The riders usually don't see it and the camel usually doesn't feel it much since the spider's anesthetic works so quickly.

The spider will start eating into the camel's stomach and eat away at all the skin and muscle until, suddenly, the guts and all of the camel will fall out; completely surprising the rider, and to a larger extent, the camel.
By: Dave
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:01am)
Not even South Park can improve on this one. I only wish I had bid on the Hippie Fetus Belt.
By: chimpy
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:00am)
Hey! Get yer hands off me fondled stone! Margaret Thatcher fondled this here stone and I donna wantch ya to touch it!

People will bid on ANYTHING. Time to clean out the greasetrap at the local Mickey D's....
By: chimpy
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:00am)
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Wednesday, May 29th 2002
Not only will this keep your old lady from getting pregnant, but it plays in any CD player!
By: chimpy
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (10:47pm)
It takes a lot to gross me out... but SOMEONE ACTUALLY BOUGHT THIS.
By: chimpy
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (10:40pm)
You know, I don't like black jelly beans much, but this guy needs to farkin' RELAX.
By: chimpy
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (10:38pm)
With all the hype about Attack of the Clones, you really need another dose of Park Wars!. I WILL KICK YOU IN THE NUTS!
By: chimpy
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (10:32pm)
With the man cracking down on security at the airports, one woman stands between terrorism and air safety.
By: chimpy
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (10:30pm)
Earning a Girl Scout badge just got a whole lot easier - they now offer an award for relaxing. Can a merit badge for getting baked and watching TV be far behind?
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (12:35am)
If you're looking for a cerebral pastime, Hexxagon will bend your brain. Or, if you're just looking for some simple fun, there's always Centipede.
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (12:35am)
Cats are notoriously clean animals, but face it - every once and a while, they'll roll around in something that, while smelling great to cats, stinks to high hell for us humans, and a proper bathing is in order. To prepare for this INCREDIBLY dangerous undertaking, read up on Cat Bathing as a Martial Art.
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (12:35am)
If you don't have enough candy-based magic in your life, grab your mouse and stab away at the Willy Wonka Soundboard! Crank it up at work and share the joy!
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (12:35am)
Check it out - with the Ass-O-Tron, you can add a moon or two to any website!
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (12:35am)
Tuesday, May 28th 2002
Attack of the Tiger Clones!
By: Madkow
Tuesday, May 28th 2002 (1:42pm)
Tuesday

  • Log Cabin Day

Jun 25, 2019
Mystery Link
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Large order of fries comin' your way - whatcha having on em?


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