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Thursday, June 20th 2002
Looking for that extra-special centerpiece for the dining room table? Casket furniture too expensive a conversation starter? Good news! You can buy body parts from the comfort of your home!

I'm particularly a fan of the wacky nicknames they've given the dead people. "Hey, check out 'The Golfer'! He was almost beaten to death! That's gotta be worth at least $800!"

    Note to self: Do not leave body to "science."
By: goofyfish
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (8:14am)
It's almost like pornography, but a lot sadder.
By: goofyfish
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (5:44am)
Hey guys, if your woman is in a funk, scientific studies have recently shown that you can improve her mood by splashing her gums with your man mustard! Talk about your win/win scenarios!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:26am)
By Mark E. Petersen
Council of the 12 Apostles


Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so.

This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.

But it must be more than a hope or a whish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you.

After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines:

Read More to be on your way to a masturbation free life.
By: Scott
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:12am)
(more)   [Comments: 3]
ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:12am)
Woe to those below when the Joint Strike Fighter buzzes overhead! (buzzes, get it? I kill me)
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:10am)
Getting tired of tuna helper and Friday meatloaf? Dazzle the kids with the taste sensation of fried unborn bees!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:10am)
This one has gone around in a wav file, so here is the text version. This is a true story, which makes it even funnier!

On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match." The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.

Read More for the whole story...
By: Scott
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:10am)
(more)   [Comments: 2]
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Wednesday, June 19th 2002
And you want to get all those great songs from the 80's to remind you of the times when you could still get an erection without intense pain, but you can't remember them? Well never fear, the 80's Exchange is here with a list of all the Top 40 songs of the 1980's. Now put down that bottle of 'Cool Erection' and get to downloading!
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:27am)
All cats, especially kittens, are just about the cutest damn things on the planet... but somehow or another, those kooky kids at b3ta.com have managed to narrow it down to the Top 10 Cutest Kittens!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:27am)
Cigarettes are this nation's number-one preventable health hazard. With Nicolaxx, the only Nicotine Anal Suppository, you will be on your way to breaking the horrible and destructive habit of smoking (and enjoying the cool sensation of farting menthol).
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:27am)
Oddly enough these were just six random women at the YMCA.
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:27am)
She also told me my daddy was the king of Poland. What other Coke lies have you been told?
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:27am)

I am the dreamer of dreams. I am nice, but I am also busy and stressed out so I can be testy at times. Mr. Willy Wonka I am! I own the factory, mind you.


Which Willy Wonka character are you?
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:09am)
A woman enraged at her boyfriend attacked him with a utility knife and cut off nearly all of his buttocks, leaving him near death on a dark, rural road, a prosecutor said Thursday.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:09am)
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:09am)
Soccer Showdown shows what soccer would be like if it were a REAL sport!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:03am)
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Tuesday, June 18th 2002
But when I do post, it's for the good of all man kind. For Gods sake if you know anything tell us!!
By: Scott
Tuesday, Jun 18th 2002 (7:41pm)
Tiger Wood's success story is really a story about when and how to get trim. Now you'll notice that Tiger insists on a lot of strange tents on the course. Hmmm
By: chimpy
Tuesday, Jun 18th 2002 (6:02pm)
Dude! Geeks get a TON OF TRIM. Their secret is located somewhere in the bowels of this web site.
By: chimpy
Tuesday, Jun 18th 2002 (5:58pm)
Dale Miller is your average divorced computer professional. An ordained minister who likes to fly kites, collects stamps and... oh, yeah, dress like a woman from the waist down. I don't know which is more strange: the fact that he couldn't pick a gender to dress as, or his creepy, disarming smile. (Nice legs, though.)
By: goofyfish
Tuesday, Jun 18th 2002 (4:59am)
Yes, it's time to revel once again in the comedic phenomenon that is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. This time around, he's on the Hollywood Squares! Look! It's Kathie Lee Gifford! Sic 'er, Triumph!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 18th 2002 (12:25am)
Blow by blow, swap by swap and growl after growl!
Round after round of feline fighting! ROWR!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 18th 2002 (12:25am)
2 *NEW* 55 gallon drums of Watermelon jell-o...these are leftovers from a jello "wrestling" party. Drums are still sealed and weigh approximately 420 lbs each. Not for human consumption but excellent for parties and the like. Also may be used as bear bait.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 18th 2002 (12:25am)
Monday

  • Underdog Day
  • National Maple Syrup Day

Dec 17, 2018
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