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Wednesday, May 15th 2002
Just when you thought it was safe to step away from your computer, the indescribably bizarre Eugene Mirman is back with a fresh spate of asskicking new tunes. Crank it!
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 15th 2002 (12:11am)
What a disturbed little Victorian child. And poor poor Hildegarde.
Ode to a broken doll
By: georgia
Wednesday, May 15th 2002 (12:11am)
If you're a fan of In-N-Out Burger, you may have noticed people ordering stuff that's not on their sparse menu - this is because they have a SECRET MENU for those who are 'in the know'. Now you too can order unlabeled obscurities like the Flying Dutchman or the colossal 5x5. Even with all that, however, you still can't get a burger with a fried egg on it like at Fatburger.
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 15th 2002 (12:08am)
Check out the official CIA Homepage For Kids, where junior can delight to stories like Harry Recon: Ace Photo Pigeon and play some codebreaking games. Remember kids, Fly high on intelligence - not drugs!
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 15th 2002 (12:08am)
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Tuesday, May 14th 2002
...and kiss the rest of the week goodbye - it's time to play the 100 Greatest Online Games!
By: Dave
Tuesday, May 14th 2002 (11:37pm)
Hi, this site is all about ninjas, REAL NINJAS. This site is awesome. My name is Robert and I can't stop thinking about ninjas. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

By: Madkow
Tuesday, May 14th 2002 (12:35pm)
Strong Bad answers his email once again - this time, fielding a '3 wishes' question. After careful consideration, I have to agree, and would wish for the same thing.
By: Dave
Tuesday, May 14th 2002 (12:16am)
A frenzied feline took on a babysitter, a family and the police in a nasty scrap that sent people scurrying out of their home. Cocoa, the family cat, went on a rampage Sunday evening, forcing a family in Dartmouth to call the police for help.
By: Dave
Tuesday, May 14th 2002 (12:11am)
Fuck betting the horses! Fire up the nitro-burners on your atomic badger and race to the finish line! If you lag behind, you can drop cat bombs on the opponents! WHEEE!
By: Dave
Tuesday, May 14th 2002 (12:11am)
At last! A quiz that ended up 100 percent correct for me! Take the Are You John Stamos test and find out the truth!
By: Dave
Tuesday, May 14th 2002 (12:11am)
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Monday, May 13th 2002
At the Mike Tyson school of Dentistry, I will show you how to clean between the gums, polar bears and bicupids. My school is an intense five half minute course located in the heart of my brain. My goal is simple: to devour your molars.
By: Dave
Monday, May 13th 2002 (10:13pm)
Muppet Action Figure prototypes! YAAAAYYY!!!
By: Madkow
Monday, May 13th 2002 (2:42pm)
Well, this is how I always solve my problems.
By: Madkow
Monday, May 13th 2002 (2:12pm)
...because now you can upgrade to a knitted uterus - only a few short steps away from graduating to inflatables!
By: Dave
Monday, May 13th 2002 (12:49am)
If you've got a thing for celebrity bracefaces, this is the site for you: the Braces Gallery!
By: Dave
Monday, May 13th 2002 (12:49am)
Ah, the wonders of science - behold mankind's latest innovation, a device that translates dog barks into speech. Maybe I'm just jaded, but I really don't need to hear Rex say "TANGY!" when he comes up for air after cleaning his carrot.
By: Dave
Monday, May 13th 2002 (12:49am)
Am I the only person who sees something fundamentally wrong with this statue?
By: Dave
Monday, May 13th 2002 (12:01am)
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Sunday, May 12th 2002
When I'm not working (thanks again, Jason), I'm surfing the web, looking for links to post up here. Over the course of a week, I bank all the religious stuff I find up for one big post to fill you Sunday readers with spiritual guidance. So, without further ado, here's this week's spread:
Christians For Cannibis - Priests Gone Wild - Spider-Man's Greatest Bible Stories - Where Is God? - Pope Chart - Harry Potter Chick Tract - Heeb Magazine
By: Dave
Sunday, May 12th 2002 (1:55am)
Saturday, May 11th 2002
Two Cambodian crematorium workers will face charges of cannibalism after getting drunk and eating the body of a man they were supposed to cremate. Further proof that drinking and funeral home work don't mix.
By: Dave
Saturday, May 11th 2002 (12:22am)
Monopoly maker accused of monoply - oh, the irony is delicious!
By: Dave
Saturday, May 11th 2002 (12:22am)
Those wildly deluded PeTA pinheads strike again - this time browbeating a high school in Austin, Minnesota (the hometown of Hormel) because their teams are named the Packers - short for meatpackers. It gets better: they suggest instead that the teams be named the Pickers, to promote the slaughter of plants - whom science has recently shown don't care much for being killed either.
By: Dave
Saturday, May 11th 2002 (12:06am)
Sporting competition at its finest: Bumfights presents real bums really beating the shit out of each other! Really!
By: Dave
Saturday, May 11th 2002 (12:06am)
Friday, May 10th 2002
Hooray for Hollowood! It's here again. Get to clickin' here for the raunchiest, filthiest, dirtiest, naughtiest, xxxiest, porniest, britney spearsiest, boobsiest, column ever! Google loves me.
By: Scott
Friday, May 10th 2002 (2:37pm)
Monday

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