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Monday, May 13th
Ah, the wonders of science - behold mankind's latest innovation, a device that translates dog barks into speech. Maybe I'm just jaded, but I really don't need to hear Rex say "TANGY!" when he comes up for air after cleaning his carrot.
By: Dave
Monday, May 13th 2002 (12:49am)
Am I the only person who sees something fundamentally wrong with this statue?
By: Dave
Monday, May 13th 2002 (12:01am)
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Sunday, May 12th
When I'm not working (thanks again, Jason), I'm surfing the web, looking for links to post up here. Over the course of a week, I bank all the religious stuff I find up for one big post to fill you Sunday readers with spiritual guidance. So, without further ado, here's this week's spread:
Christians For Cannibis - Priests Gone Wild - Spider-Man's Greatest Bible Stories - Where Is God? - Pope Chart - Harry Potter Chick Tract - Heeb Magazine
By: Dave
Sunday, May 12th 2002 (1:55am)
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Saturday, May 11th
Two Cambodian crematorium workers will face charges of cannibalism after getting drunk and eating the body of a man they were supposed to cremate. Further proof that drinking and funeral home work don't mix.
By: Dave
Saturday, May 11th 2002 (12:22am)
Monopoly maker accused of monoply - oh, the irony is delicious!
By: Dave
Saturday, May 11th 2002 (12:22am)
Those wildly deluded PeTA pinheads strike again - this time browbeating a high school in Austin, Minnesota (the hometown of Hormel) because their teams are named the Packers - short for meatpackers. It gets better: they suggest instead that the teams be named the Pickers, to promote the slaughter of plants - whom science has recently shown don't care much for being killed either.
By: Dave
Saturday, May 11th 2002 (12:06am)
Sporting competition at its finest: Bumfights presents real bums really beating the shit out of each other! Really!
By: Dave
Saturday, May 11th 2002 (12:06am)
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Friday, May 10th
Hooray for Hollowood! It's here again. Get to clickin' here for the raunchiest, filthiest, dirtiest, naughtiest, xxxiest, porniest, britney spearsiest, boobsiest, column ever! Google loves me.
By: Scott
Friday, May 10th 2002 (2:37pm)
With my new job, I'm literally up to my ASS in Flash, but that doesn't change my appreciation for it as an avant-garde artform. With that in mind, shoot some heroin under your toenail or put some LSD in your eye, and sit back for Flashback - you should start to peak just as it begins getting really weird.
By: Dave
Friday, May 10th 2002 (12:18am)
ARRRRR! Pirate attacks soar worldwide! Batten down the hatches, ye scurvy dogs!
By: Dave
Friday, May 10th 2002 (12:13am)
In the wake of the September 11 attacks, everyone is hyper-sensitive about anything referring back to that fateful day - so it has been proposed that the emergency phone number be changed from 911 to 'PUPPIES'.
By: Dave
Friday, May 10th 2002 (12:13am)
A local television reporter was rescued by divers when she was unable to escape from a submerged car while filming a news segment on how to get out of dangerous situations.
By: Dave
Friday, May 10th 2002 (12:02am)
Thursday, May 9th
...but apart from that, this is the best rendition of the Meow Mix jingle I have ever heard. Heads up, my new working compatriots, I'll be singing this around the office all day tomorrow.
By: Dave
Thursday, May 9th 2002 (12:31am)
Outlawed by foolhardy stuffed-shirt states, now thanks to the internet you can once again enjoy the thrill of midget tossing!
By: Dave
Thursday, May 9th 2002 (12:14am)
In another astonishing example of your tax dollars working to uncover the hidden mysteries of the world, a Rochester School of Medicine study has determined that body piercing is linked to risky behavior in teens. GASP!
By: Dave
Thursday, May 9th 2002 (12:14am)
EnemaBag.com - your integrity based source for enema supplies and information!
By: Dave
Thursday, May 9th 2002 (12:14am)
Wednesday, May 8th
Willy Wonka has inspired people to do some weird things. But this one takes the cake... and morphs it into a woman with 6 tits.
By: Scott
Wednesday, May 8th 2002 (10:28am)
Sorry, veggies and vegans, if you're doing your thing because you feel it's inhumane to butcher animals for sustenance, you'd better brace yourself - scientists at the University of Bonn have discovered that plants do indeed cry when they are cut. Looks like everything suffers at the hands of man. So, how ya want that steak?
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 8th 2002 (12:18am)
Yes, the Mr. T VS. series is still going strong - and this time, he's not putting up with any jibbajabba from The Young Ones! OH SHUT UP RICK!
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 8th 2002 (12:18am)
The boys over at Stinkfactor, famous for their experiments in cinnamon and horseradish consumption, have struck again - this time, the subject is Tabasco chugging. Admirable, but I could do this one with my hands tied behind my back - and I have witnesses that can testify to it!
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 8th 2002 (12:18am)
Here's a guy who dresses his wanktoob in little clothes and takes pictures of it. It boggles the mind.
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 8th 2002 (12:18am)
Tuesday, May 7th
You know you find bald people sexy. Admit it. You want them... you envy them... you want to be one of them
By: chimpy
Tuesday, May 7th 2002 (10:40pm)
When I lived in an apartment, it was my sworn duty to screw with my roommates head at every opportunity. Evil!
By: chimpy
Tuesday, May 7th 2002 (10:37pm)
This is probably the coolest birthday cake I have ever seen in my X years of being alive... for me to POOP on!
By: chimpy
Tuesday, May 7th 2002 (10:32pm)
And I thought my hands were pretty fast in high school... these kids should consider a career as underage bartenders.
By: chimpy
Tuesday, May 7th 2002 (10:25pm)
Wednesday

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