Sunday, June 30th 2002
Open your hearts to the divine.. uh.. divinity of the ritualistic.. oh whatever, here's the Sunday post:

The parish priest couldn't resist the pretty young girl. She was reciting her confession, and it was all too much for him. He told her to come with him to his room. There, he placed his arm around her.

"Did the young man do this to you?" he asked.

"Yes, Father, and worse," the girl replied.

"Hmm," said the priest. He kissed her. "Did he do this?"

"Yes, Father, and worse," the girl said.

"Did he do this?" the priest asked, and he lifted her skirt and fingered her pussy.

"Yes, Father, and worse."

By this time, the priest was thoroughly aroused. He pulled the girl down onto the rug and inserted his penis, breathing heavily as he asked, "Did he manage to do this?"

"Yes, Father, and worse," said the girl.

When the priest had finished with the girl, he asked, "He did this too, and worse? My dear daughter, what worse could he have done?"

"Well," the shy young girl said, "I think, Father, that he's given me gonorrhea."

Wow, that was horrible. Now, on to the linky goodness!

Church Celebrates Chainsaws | Christian Cowboys
Jesus Rocks Nads | Robo Priest | Christian Porno
Satan's LiveJournal | Female Chinese Christ | Vatican Time Machine
By: Dave
Sunday, Jun 30th 2002 (1:53am)
Saturday, June 29th 2002
I really loved the "Dukes of Hazzard" for some reason... not sure if it was the cars, the idiotic sherrif, or Daisy Duke in shorts. Oh yeah, that's why! But did you know that Bo and Luke had a dark side and were really trying to get in Daisy's shorts?
By: chimpy
Saturday, Jun 29th 2002 (5:33pm)
I don't care what they say, this had to have happened.
By: Scott
Saturday, Jun 29th 2002 (10:49am)
Why can't Rosie O'Donnel go on a diet while she wears make-up?

Cuz it's impossible to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face!

More inside...
By: Scott
Saturday, Jun 29th 2002 (9:33am)
(more)   [Comments: 0]
If you have to pee for your paycheck and you're sweating the results, whip out the Whizzinator and pass with flying colors!
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 29th 2002 (12:24am)
In a stunning display of common sense, four women were persuaded to stand topless in their windows or balconies so that a satellite could give them a mammogram.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 29th 2002 (12:19am)
Puppies are so cute. Especially when you're kicking them as hard as you can.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 29th 2002 (12:16am)
Friday, June 28th 2002
With a new pill called Modafinil, you can go 40 hours without sleep -- and see into the future!
By: Dave
Friday, Jun 28th 2002 (12:21am)
A giraffe suspected of killing a US pastor at a luxury Kenyan hotel jumped to his death from a cliff after resisting attempts to examine its hooves for bloodstains, the hotel manager said on Wednesday.
By: Dave
Friday, Jun 28th 2002 (12:16am)
RIP: John Entwistle, the soft-spoken and wildly talented bassist of The Who died of a heart attack in Vegas yesterday. He was 57.
By: Dave
Friday, Jun 28th 2002 (12:07am)
Thursday, June 27th 2002
For those of you who sometimes feel the need for a good game of Russian Roulette. *snicker*
By: brooke
Thursday, Jun 27th 2002 (7:34am)
I'd say it was because of his large stones but that's definately not it. This guy wins the lookalike and actalike contest!
By: Scott
Thursday, Jun 27th 2002 (12:31am)
Play a quick game of hockey with Bill Gates' head!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 27th 2002 (12:31am)
Remember that weird-ass picture on the cover of Les Claypool's Sausage cd? That was the work of R.S. Connett, a disturbingly.. um.. disturbed artist. Grab some new wallpaper for the kids' desktop!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 27th 2002 (12:31am)
A creamatorium burned down in Colorado, destroying everything except the body in the oven.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 27th 2002 (12:31am)
Amazing! Answer this simple quiz and your wish will come true!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 27th 2002 (12:31am)
If you love Britney's outsides, wait till you see her insides!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 27th 2002 (12:02am)
Wednesday, June 26th 2002
Sure, I have fun knocking out my crappy little soundboards, but I also really appreciate everyone else's - take, for example, this excellent Ozzy soundboard!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 26th 2002 (5:29am)
You're a Gobstopper and it's your job to eat the Bottle Caps to find the Wonka letters to clear the way. Along the way the Shocktarts will help you against the evil Wangdoodles, while the Runts aid your score. Sound like some evil dream? Well it is, and you can do play it now!

Thanks to Hellvis!
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 26th 2002 (5:09am)
I'm referring, of course, to the International Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dyslexic Newborn Gerbils. This organization, now in its fifth year of existence, is devoted to the plight of the helpless infant gerbils that come into this harsh world unable to learn, write, or even communicate with their families.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 26th 2002 (12:27am)
Oreo has perverted Willy Wonka. Has she no shame?
No, she does not.
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 26th 2002 (12:25am)
Everyone instantly thinks 'oh no, computer virus BAD!' and well, yeah, most of them are - but here are a few harmless ones that are just fun pranks to play on your co-workers. Note to Fordo: Don't even try it, I've seen these already.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 26th 2002 (12:25am)
...and quite frankly, so do most other Elf Chicks. I dunno why, it's obviously not the ears, otherwise Vulcan chicks would ring my bell too.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 26th 2002 (12:06am)

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