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Monday, July 15th 2002
Perform or die!
By: Scott
Monday, Jul 15th 2002 (12:06am)
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Sunday, July 14th 2002
It's that time of the week again - time to get on your knees or bend over a table or whatever... Sunday is upon us. Let's do it!

God and Saint Peter are playing golf, St. Peter opens up with a hole in one. His halo shines a little bit brighter.

God is trying to tee off, but knocks the ball backwards down a hill. A rabbit hops out of the woods, grabs the ball, and goes running for its hole. A hawk swoops down, grabs the rabbit, and flies up to 4000 ft. From nowhere, clouds form and lightning strikes the hawk. The hawk drops the rabbit, the rabbit drops the ball, plunk, a hole in one.

St. Peter turns to God and says, "Okay now, are you going to play golf or are you going to screw around?"



Yes, I know, weak joke and picture this week, but I'm a busy guy. We have an assload of holy links, so let's go:
Papal Bowling | Hell Is Not Disneyland | Hell Is 'Uncool'
Spittin' Jesus | Jesus Continuum | Jesus Balloon
Bible According to Cheese | God Doesn't Give a Shit About NASCAR
2002 Jesus Values Excellence Awards
By: Dave
Sunday, Jul 14th 2002 (1:06am)
I think they are both one peanut shy of a nut farm.


Thanks to the juicy Oreo for the tip!
By: Scott
Sunday, Jul 14th 2002 (12:06am)
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Saturday, July 13th 2002
Combine basketball and hockey, add some full-contact violence, toss it all on top of trampolines, and you get SlamBall!
By: Dave
Saturday, Jul 13th 2002 (12:17am)
In a time where complaints about violent video games turning kids into cold blooded killers is the flavor of the month, it seems odd that a toy could have been made in 1971 that prompted such outrage that it makes Quake and their ilk pale in comparison.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jul 13th 2002 (12:09am)
Think you've seen all the KISS stuff there is to see? Wrong, pal. Check out these militant groupie KISS Army Barbies!
By: Dave
Saturday, Jul 13th 2002 (12:09am)
Oh powerful Duct Tape, is there anything you can't do?
By: Dave
Saturday, Jul 13th 2002 (12:08am)
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Friday, July 12th 2002
And the Lord said, "let there be gassy food".
And there was gassy food (Taco Bell).
And the Lord said, "go forth and tell the sheep of the land of this gassy food".
And they went forth.
And the Lord said, "make sure they get the point."
And so they did.
By: chimpy
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (11:50pm)
A freighter containing 62,000 metric tons of popular impotence drug Viagra struck a reef and sank in Lake Michigan today. As a result, the once-frigid lake no longer dangles into Illinois and Indiana, but now spans majestically across northern Wisconsin.
By: Some Nobody
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (11:46pm)
If you've ever wished for bigger boobs, here's a little tale for you to watch and learn from.
By: Some Nobody
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (11:43pm)
South Africa's Sesame Street is introducing an HIV-positive Muppet.
By: Madkow
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (5:38pm)
Dave may have posted this before, because I know he LOVES these things, but it needs to be said again. Chicks with missing teeth are hot!
By: Scott
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:53am)
I always wondered if shit like this would happen if I worked at KFC.
By: Scott
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:53am)
If only there were a website that could help me hook up with my cousins.. Wait.. there is? YES!! YES!!
By: Scott
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:53am)
?looc taht t'niA
By: Scott
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:53am)
I'll file this under education, cuz Mr. T is about to take your ass to school!!
By: Scott
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:53am)
No kidding - the Time Travel Fund will bank your membership, and thanks to compound interest rates, when the technology is available the fund wil pay big bucks to bring you back to the future - and you should have PLENTY left over for living expenses. After all, 1 dollar at 5% interest over 500 years comes out to, oh, about 40 billion dollars.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:45am)
Not only can he sense danger, pick up buses, and hose down bad guys with his webbing, he can also make you gay with his manly dance.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:11am)
How many different languages can you say "Oh my God! There's an axe in my head!" in? Thanks to this site, 102!
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:11am)
After all, they don't even let the intensely strict anti-drug laws slow them down - they'll pack their noses with cow shit and styrofoam just to cop a buzz. Those nutty Maylaysians!
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:02am)
Thursday, July 11th 2002
Couples from eight countries participated in an unusual competition of physical strength and agility at this year's wife-carrying championship in Finland. Oh look, there's even video.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 11th 2002 (12:17am)
Plastic bags designed for committing suicide are to be manufactured in Brisbane and given away to Australians, euthanasia campaigner Philip Nitschke said on Tuesday. To avoid prosecution, Exit Australia will distribute the bags without instructions on their use.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 11th 2002 (12:15am)
Alleys vary greatly and, until now, there was simply no way to be certain that the one you've chosen to spend your evening in maintains a reasonable level of gothic charm.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 11th 2002 (12:15am)
Remember Brodie and TC's conversation in Mallrats where Brodie was talking about Lois Lane's inability to withstand sex with Superman, and how his super-load would no doubt blow out of her back like a shotgun? Well, I knew I'd heard that someplace before, when I was a kid I had read it in a short piece of prose called Man Of Steel, Woman Of Kleenex by Larry Niven. Thanks to this interweb thingy, here it is in its' entirety.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 11th 2002 (12:15am)
Wednesday, July 10th 2002
Of course, now that I work in an office where literally EVERYONE is rabid about golfing, I figured it'd do my career good to at least pick up a few golf tips - so now I know all the little tricks, like:
  • To get the most out of a Sunday afternoon on the golf course, be trapped in a loveless marriage to a shrill, clothes-obsessed witch you can't stand to be around.
  • When golfing with a female half your age, offer to "help her with her swing," standing behind her and steadying her hips while grinding your crotch into her ass.
  • For maximum golfing fun, get yourself a high-tech golf bag that shoots your clubs out automatically and plays Journey's "Any Way You Want It" at the touch of a button.
    By: Dave
    Wednesday, Jul 10th 2002 (1:06am)
  • Sunday

    • Mid Summer Day

    Jun 24, 2018
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