Monday, June 17th
Face it, you've always suspected there was something big going on underneath the radar of Joe Everyman, that everything happened according to some secret plan. Now it's all confirmed, and easily explained with this simple flowchart. Sleep well, America!
Monday, Jun 17th 2002 (12:20am)
Hey, remember Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, the Filet-O-Fish woofing dorkwizard hanging around the Star Wars line when Triumph took 'em all to school? Get ready for a shocker: He has his own little dragonmaster website. Fancy that.
I fully support Hank Hill's position on piercing: I'm all for it, since it allows you to spot the freaks from farther away. Uvula piercing is one of the less visible mutilations you can do to yourself, but MAN is it repulsive - even moreso than most other piercings. What in the hell is wrong with you people?
Sunday, June 16th
Today we have not one but TWO things to celebrate: Sunday and Father's Day! In honor of my Dad, who has a wicked sense of humor but frowns on vulgarity just for shock value, today's religious joke is a tame one. Try not to look at the picture next to it, Dad. Happy Father's Day!
And now, on to the sacred linkitude!
Beatles/Satan Connection | Blasphemous Clipart | Atheist Parents
FFRF Quiz | Church of Spongebob Squarepants | Toast Bible
Sunday, Jun 16th 2002 (12:12am)
Saturday, June 15th
If you travel a lot, you've no doubt noticed the ludicrous scrutiny you must go through to get on a plane these days - that's why you should carry The Bill of Rights Security Edition. You need to get used to offering up the bill of rights for inspection and government workers need to get used to deciding if you'll be allowed to keep the Bill of Rights with you when you travel.
WHY LEAN TOAST? One might equally ask "Why breathe?", "Why live?" or "Why exist?". To cool toast with such joyous efficiency is to take delight in each crunchy bite, each crisp morsel, and repel the evils of toast with a soggy underside or sodden with molten margarine.
Friday, June 14th
Thursday, June 13th
Did you know that there's a small tube that runs from the uppermost point of the inside of the foreskin, through the body cavity, and out the intestine? It's true! This can be demonstrated -- nothing up my sleeve! -- by tucking a small handkerchief up inside a foreskin, massaging gently, and then removing it from the rear.
Thursday, Jun 13th 2002 (12:16am)
MTV, the Hard Rock Hotel, and Ashton Kutcher (better known as Kelso from That 70's Show and other intellectual endeavors) have REALLY fucked up - to the tune of 120 million bucks or so. How? Like this. Good goin, guys.
Thursday, Jun 13th 2002 (12:11am)
I noticed from yesterday's posts that Cartoon Network is going to start cranking out new He-Man cartoons, complete with Skeletor... which is probably a good thing, since old boney-face can't seem to hold a job.
Thursday, Jun 13th 2002 (12:10am)
Wednesday, June 12th
Cartoon Network is feeding our inner child one revamped toon at a time. Coming August 16th, you will hear him say once again, "By the power of Grayskull, I have the power!". And you'll need RealPlayer to view the clip. ;)
Wednesday, Jun 12th 2002 (12:19am)
I've always thought that cybersex was pathetically ridiculous, but in the right hands, an IM cyber session can turn into the funniest damn thing you'll read all week. Meet Amber Forever, a supposed 14-year-old girl who takes on the webpervs and cranks out pure comedy gold. BraVO!
Best Song About Masturbation
Nothing! Player's off!
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
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