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Friday, August 23rd
Ever thought about being caught with your pants around your ankles when the lord comes a callin'? No more worries friends, it's the Rapture Ready Toilet seat. Every good boy and girl should have one.
By: faedra
Friday, Aug 23rd 2002 (9:40pm)
Whip out your bootleg Photoshop and job up this picture!



Best one gets a prize. What is it? Dunno yet. Last time it was an old webcam. Scott won it.
By: Dave
Friday, Aug 23rd 2002 (7:22pm)
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Would you too like to win a lifetime supply of tampons? Ha, too late! These women already beat you to it.
By: faedra
Friday, Aug 23rd 2002 (3:50pm)
Who cares if Britney Spears drinks, smokes and fucks all night? It's her own business now, as she's announced that she's all grown up!
By: Scott
Friday, Aug 23rd 2002 (10:53am)
But they can all agree that the world faces mass extinction! I prefer Kiet Doke myself.
By: Scott
Friday, Aug 23rd 2002 (10:48am)
By ordering a Mr. Potato Head license plate -- a cool collectible -- you can help the hungry in Rhode Island.
By: Some Nobody
Friday, Aug 23rd 2002 (8:23am)
But, even if Ethel Merman disco'in up her hits doesn't do it for ya, Frank's Vinyl Museum has something for you - from Muhammed Ali battling Mr. Tooth Decay to Buddah's Dial-A-Hit!
By: Dave
Friday, Aug 23rd 2002 (12:20am)
The largest trash hauler in Santa Cruz County won't help publicize the state's abandoned-baby law by putting "Don't throw your baby away" stickers on trash bins countywide. "Would you want this (sticker) on your Dumpster in front of your home?" operations manager Mark Arsenault asks.
By: Dave
Friday, Aug 23rd 2002 (12:20am)
An annual survey of U.S. teenagers found that marijuana edged out cigarettes and beer as being easier to buy ó 34 percent said itís the easiest of the three, compared with 31 percent for cigarettes and 14 percent for beer.
By: Dave
Friday, Aug 23rd 2002 (12:20am)
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Thursday, August 22nd
Give your lover the treat of his/her/it's life! Right after they've tossed your salad, they'll insert a toothpick into their mouth, clasp their hands together and shout "That ass is kissin' sweet!". You'll owe it all to the magic minty ass medicine.
By: chimpy
Thursday, Aug 22nd 2002 (11:37pm)
The Catholic League, who are apparently trying to make sure that the 1st Ammendmant is abolished, have successfully forced CBS/Viacom to fire the station execs of a radio station in N.Y. because of thier bashing of the Catholic Church. Hey, Donahue. FUCK YOU!
By: Scott
Thursday, Aug 22nd 2002 (11:10am)
Hence, Elvis in toast!
By: Dave
Thursday, Aug 22nd 2002 (12:21am)
Cinnamon - The Evil, Wayward Altoid.
By: Dave
Thursday, Aug 22nd 2002 (12:21am)
I can't decide if my favorite is "Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of Your Heart?" or "I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling" or maybe it's "I've Been Roped And Throwed By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral" or perhaps "I Would Kiss You Through the Screendoor but It'd Strain Our Love". I could go on, but... you can check it out for yourself.
By: Some Nobody
Thursday, Aug 22nd 2002 (12:12am)
...And that's about it.
By: Dave
Thursday, Aug 22nd 2002 (12:07am)
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Wednesday, August 21st
The truth is, I would marry my Teledyne Water Pik Family Oral Irrigator WP-30 if I could. Thatís how much I love it. If I wasnít already married, and if I was an Oral Irrigator, or if the Oral Irrigator was a person, and not married, and if it was a woman, or if I was a woman, and it was a man, I think we would get hitched.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Aug 21st 2002 (12:26am)
I can't find my Magic Feather!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Aug 21st 2002 (12:13am)
Mystified by the new wonder drug LSD, the psychiatrist Louis Jolyon West and his colleague at the University of Oklahoma, Chester M Pierce, were looking for a new way to investigate the drug in 1962. They came up with an idea so outlandish it could only happen in the world of experimental psychology: Male elephants are prone to bouts of madness; LSD seems to cause a temporary form of madness; perhaps if we combine the two, they reasoned, we could make an elephant go mad. They gave the poor thing the equivalent of 3,000 human doses - naturally, it fell down, crapped all over itself, and died.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Aug 21st 2002 (12:13am)
By now, everyone knows about the RIAA's plan to 'hack' P2P networks and the people who use them. Apart from the insane double standard (it's ok for them to hack, but punishable by life imprisonment for others to do it), this poses an incredible security risk, one which the end-user's ISP could be held liable for. Because of this reasoning, northwestern ISP Information Wave is denying any access to and from the RIAA's network on its own network. This is a fantastic precedent that hopefully will inspire other ISPs to hop on board. Bravo!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Aug 21st 2002 (12:02am)
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Tuesday, August 20th
Man, what a useful tool - now you can gawk at Britney's breasticles, learn to understand your cats, and make ham soup all at the same time, thanks to Britney's Naked Cat-A-Phone! wo0t!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Aug 20th 2002 (12:17am)
Houston police arrested 425 people for criminal trespassing in a K-Mart parking lot (while it was open) and at the Sonic (also open) next door. Claiming curfew clean-up, they arrested everyone - whether they were legitimately shopping/dining or not - including many adults and a 10-year old girl who was eating with her dad. Everyone got to stay in the slam overnight without being processed or allowed phone calls. In a related story, every single lawyer in Houston just got a massive erection.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Aug 20th 2002 (12:11am)
Mankind is hurtling towards extinction once again - and this time, the culprit is tighty whities!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Aug 20th 2002 (12:11am)
Well, ok, you can't KILL them, that'd just get ya tossed in the pokey until the man can shoot ya up with Windex. What you need to do is HURT them, repeatedly, where it counts - their wallets. Check out this lovely page at overture.com, which provides links back to spam services as well as how much it will cost them each time you click through. Hell, some of 'em pay over 3 bucks a click! Make it your homepage. Click em all once a day. If enough people do it, their profits will all be spent on the very advertising you use to kill them!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Aug 20th 2002 (12:11am)
Monday, August 19th
After a fantastic season and phenomenal post-season, the Arizona Rattlers literally had their asses handed to them on a plate by their hated arch-rivals, the San Jose Sabercats. Folks, this was a painful game to watch - Rats were shut out until deep into the 4th quarter.
By: Dave
Monday, Aug 19th 2002 (1:31am)
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