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Monday, June 3rd
Turns out the man who REALLY shot John Lennon was none other than Stephen King, with some help from Reagan and Nixon. Of course! It all makes so much sense now!
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 3rd 2002 (12:26am)
Think about it - is there ANY situation in your day-to-day life that wouldn't be improved with a porn-music soundtrack? Of course not, and now you can have it streamed to you (har har) via the internet, thanks to Fluffertrax!
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 3rd 2002 (12:26am)
For every 10,000 humps, my dog will hump something else in my home because he is bored. Who knows what he will hump next? The broom? The photo album? He is a humping like dog!
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 3rd 2002 (12:26am)
Do you feel like shooting her? Repeatedly? While screaming at the top of your lungs something about die bloody arab die!!?

Then boy oh boy do I have the website for you!
By: Scott
Monday, Jun 3rd 2002 (12:26am)
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Sunday, June 2nd
This guy is my hero. He almost gets sued by UPS for using their logo on his website. In his legal response to the attorney, he asks for a T-shirt and... well... you have to read it yourself.
By: chimpy
Sunday, Jun 2nd 2002 (10:28pm)
Over the past few weeks, the traditional Sunday religion post has been degenerating into a festival of offensiveness - and I have no problem with that. Let's continue down that spiral with hearty gusto!

One winter day, a man walked outside after a church service. He was startled when he saw two altar boys lying face down, pants around their ankles, with their penises in the snow.

The man exclaimed, "What on earth are you two doing?!"

One altar boy looked up at the man and said, "Father Bietighofer always likes to down a couple cold ones after Mass."

Delightful, yes? Let's get on with the links - there's a lot of them this week!

Stripper For God | Rod Of Correction | Jewish Space Dilemma | Peanut Jesus
Church Of Mary | Battleground God | Fire Bible | Holy Shit
Cremation is NOT Christian | God Saves The Titanic
By: Dave
Sunday, Jun 2nd 2002 (12:05am)
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Saturday, June 1st
Here's a sneak peek at Spidey's costume for the impending sequel!
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 1st 2002 (12:29am)
Dig the Grateful Dead? Need to find stuff in the dark? Got a thousand bucks? Here ya go.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 1st 2002 (12:26am)
Meet Breadlegs' Cat. I don't know what to make of it either.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 1st 2002 (12:20am)
The problem with crack is that is keeps you up all night, making it harder to maintain a normal lifestyle with work, school, banking, all kinds of daytime stuff, because you're always catching up on sleep during the daylight hours. Well, say hello to "Crack P.M.", a new cocaine product with a sleep additive that lets addicts get high but still enjoy the health benefits of a full night's rest.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 1st 2002 (12:03am)
If you're not familiar with 'slash fiction', it's dirty stories about famous characters - originally Kirk/Spock (hence the term 'slash') gay romances, that kind of thing. The genre encompasses a wide variety of characters, but even this is a stretch: Garfield in Lasagna Pookie.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 1st 2002 (12:02am)
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Friday, May 31st
This week I go one on one with the suave one... Ben Affleck! Plus get all the latest news and gossip in Hollowood that you missed! Get to clickin', yer momma does!
By: Scott
Friday, May 31st 2002 (4:48pm)
Now THIS is what I call a album review!
By: Dave
Friday, May 31st 2002 (12:32am)
A 13-year-old Brooklyn boy stunned his teacher yesterday when he brought preserved Siamese twin fetuses to school for a macabre show-and-tell session, officials said.
By: Dave
Friday, May 31st 2002 (12:32am)
Hey, remember Poke The Bunny? Now you can expand your animal harrassment empire with Poke The Penguin!
By: Dave
Friday, May 31st 2002 (12:12am)
There's nothing more amusing than some tragically white waif trying to talk street... except maybe some tragically white waif trying to TYPE street, with a healthy dose of k-r4d thrown in for extra legitimacy. You go, grrl.
By: Dave
Friday, May 31st 2002 (12:06am)
If the habits is like narcotics, we all - addicted. And I am your detox. Because I break your limiting rules. Because I'll eat your shit. I am.
By: Dave
Friday, May 31st 2002 (12:06am)
Thursday, May 30th
Bummer - the Bat Phone has been disconnected due to 900-number abuse. I blame Dick.
By: Dave
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:16am)
It's the deal of a lifetime - a haunted fortune-telling Walkman! I wonder if it can pick horses and stocks?
By: Dave
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:16am)
If people don't think you're strange enough as it is (hard to believe, considering you're HERE and all), try chasing them around the office with a puppet likeness of yourself. That should do it.
By: Dave
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:16am)
Why are they called Camel spiders? Brace yourself:

Camels are their most famous prey. They will wait half buried under sand or lie in waiting in whatever rocks or shrubbery.... and then run to the underbelly of a passing camel. The riders usually don't see it and the camel usually doesn't feel it much since the spider's anesthetic works so quickly.

The spider will start eating into the camel's stomach and eat away at all the skin and muscle until, suddenly, the guts and all of the camel will fall out; completely surprising the rider, and to a larger extent, the camel.
By: Dave
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:01am)
Not even South Park can improve on this one. I only wish I had bid on the Hippie Fetus Belt.
By: chimpy
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:00am)
Hey! Get yer hands off me fondled stone! Margaret Thatcher fondled this here stone and I donna wantch ya to touch it!

People will bid on ANYTHING. Time to clean out the greasetrap at the local Mickey D's....
By: chimpy
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:00am)
Wednesday, May 29th
Not only will this keep your old lady from getting pregnant, but it plays in any CD player!
By: chimpy
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (10:47pm)
It takes a lot to gross me out... but SOMEONE ACTUALLY BOUGHT THIS.
By: chimpy
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (10:40pm)
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