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Friday, June 21st
Breast implants and female bodybuilding go together like, um, peanut butter and herring guts.
By: goofyfish
Friday, Jun 21st 2002 (5:05am)
Ahhh.. there are few scenes that can warm the heart like a boy and his dog.
By: goofyfish
Friday, Jun 21st 2002 (5:03am)
IT'S A GUY, DAMMITIf you've always dreamed of being a PowerPuff Girl (or Guy), now you can visualize to your heart's content - thanks to the PowerPuff Girls Portrait Studio. All things considered, I think mine came out pretty damn handsome.
By: Dave
Friday, Jun 21st 2002 (12:39am)
The biggest drawback to being an evil madman is the frightening lack of retail outlets for quality supplies. Once again, the power of the internet saves the day at VillainSupply.com!
By: Dave
Friday, Jun 21st 2002 (12:39am)
...for their policy of selling and renting 'cable versions' of movies, now you can seethe with disgust over their adamant rewinding policy on DVD's. Really. I shit you not.
By: Dave
Friday, Jun 21st 2002 (12:39am)
OH MY GOD! THAT BITCH STOLE MY HTML! Yeah, just like it was hers or something!
By: Dave
Friday, Jun 21st 2002 (12:39am)
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Thursday, June 20th
We all know that kids know everything. Hell, they aren't even afraid to give advice to airline pilots.
By: chimpy
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (8:35pm)
Looking for that extra-special centerpiece for the dining room table? Casket furniture too expensive a conversation starter? Good news! You can buy body parts from the comfort of your home!

I'm particularly a fan of the wacky nicknames they've given the dead people. "Hey, check out 'The Golfer'! He was almost beaten to death! That's gotta be worth at least $800!"

    Note to self: Do not leave body to "science."
By: goofyfish
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (8:14am)
It's almost like pornography, but a lot sadder.
By: goofyfish
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (5:44am)
Hey guys, if your woman is in a funk, scientific studies have recently shown that you can improve her mood by splashing her gums with your man mustard! Talk about your win/win scenarios!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:26am)
By Mark E. Petersen
Council of the 12 Apostles


Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so.

This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.

But it must be more than a hope or a whish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you.

After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines:

Read More to be on your way to a masturbation free life.
By: Scott
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:12am)
(more)   [Comments: 3]
ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:12am)
Woe to those below when the Joint Strike Fighter buzzes overhead! (buzzes, get it? I kill me)
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:10am)
Getting tired of tuna helper and Friday meatloaf? Dazzle the kids with the taste sensation of fried unborn bees!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:10am)
This one has gone around in a wav file, so here is the text version. This is a true story, which makes it even funnier!

On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match." The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.

Read More for the whole story...
By: Scott
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:10am)
(more)   [Comments: 2]
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Wednesday, June 19th
And you want to get all those great songs from the 80's to remind you of the times when you could still get an erection without intense pain, but you can't remember them? Well never fear, the 80's Exchange is here with a list of all the Top 40 songs of the 1980's. Now put down that bottle of 'Cool Erection' and get to downloading!
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:27am)
All cats, especially kittens, are just about the cutest damn things on the planet... but somehow or another, those kooky kids at b3ta.com have managed to narrow it down to the Top 10 Cutest Kittens!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:27am)
Cigarettes are this nation's number-one preventable health hazard. With Nicolaxx, the only Nicotine Anal Suppository, you will be on your way to breaking the horrible and destructive habit of smoking (and enjoying the cool sensation of farting menthol).
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:27am)
Oddly enough these were just six random women at the YMCA.
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:27am)
She also told me my daddy was the king of Poland. What other Coke lies have you been told?
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:27am)

I am the dreamer of dreams. I am nice, but I am also busy and stressed out so I can be testy at times. Mr. Willy Wonka I am! I own the factory, mind you.


Which Willy Wonka character are you?
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:09am)
A woman enraged at her boyfriend attacked him with a utility knife and cut off nearly all of his buttocks, leaving him near death on a dark, rural road, a prosecutor said Thursday.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:09am)
Monday

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  • Universal Children's Day

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