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Tuesday, June 11th
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain, still remains
Within the sound of meat.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 11th 2002 (12:27am)
Her name is Pinky. Pinky is a homeless deaf mute. But that's ok, I still love her all the same. I'll never forget the brisk March morning when i found her sleeping in a dumpster behind a adult toy store, while i was searching for aluminum cans and something to eat.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 11th 2002 (12:27am)
The federal government spent $62 million on a building to store and treat low-level radioactive waste at a California nuclear weapons laboratory, then decided the structure wasn't secure enough.

So where is the waste kept now? Under tents, just outside the building. Yet another prime example of your tax dollars at work.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 11th 2002 (12:27am)
Fuck the Sims! Osbournes!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 11th 2002 (12:02am)
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Monday, June 10th
... of a drug called porn.
What's the worst that can happen... blindess and chaffing?
By: chimpy
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (8:02pm)
Yes, the new VW Bugs may suck hairy ass - but they have one undocumented feature that noone seems to know about.
By: chimpy
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (7:31pm)
Behold the intellectual majesty that is Ultraville Kat Attaq!
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (12:21am)
Presiding over a memorial service commemorating the victims of the attack on the Death Star, the Emperor declared that while recent victories over the Rebel Alliance were "encouraging, the War on Terror is not over yet."
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (12:18am)
The genteel sport of croquet took a swing on the less civilized side when four players entered into a skull-cracking melee with a group of softball players.
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (12:14am)
pie. pie. pie. pie. pie. pie. pie. When come back bring pie.
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (12:14am)
Yes, it's Fametracker's must-have list of must-miss flicks. No, we haven't actually seen any of these movies. Ask us again in September, and the answer will be the same.
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (12:14am)
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Sunday, June 9th
Nothing says 'hello' like a baby picture tucked away in a hallmark greeting card. Just make sure the picture didn't come from here. EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
By: chimpy
Sunday, Jun 9th 2002 (10:15pm)
Wow, this is the most amazing innovation I've ever SEEN!
By: Madkow
Sunday, Jun 9th 2002 (6:08pm)
And the Lord said "Let there be computers, and an operating system that blesses the user with the blood and crash protection of My Son".

And there were computers, and there was an OS... and the Lord said "It is Good..." because the OS was Jesux.
By: chimpy
Sunday, Jun 9th 2002 (12:05pm)
Sundays just keep getting bigger and better here at the davelog. Since I've started going out of my way to make the Sunday post... um... better, my hate mail has increased tenfold - which says to me that I should keep running with it. Let's go.


3 nuns die and go to heaven. As they approach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that they are welcome to come in, as long as they confess their sins before entering.

The first nun steps up and says, "Forgive me for I have sinned. Since my last confession, I have seen a man's penis."

"No problem," says St. Peter, "Just cleanse your eyes with the holy water in this basin", pointing to a holy water-filled basin.

The first nun goes to the basin and sprinkles her eyes with the holy water, then she walks through the gates into heaven.

The third nun turns to the second nun and says, "You'd better let me go next - I don't want to gargle it after you've sat in it."

click on 'read more' for a larger version


Oh, that was bad. We'd better get to the links, fast.

Things Creationists Hate | Demon Buster | Patron Saint Of Magic
Underage Catholic Wrestlemania | Jesus Shoots! He Scores!
Pancakes Without Preaching | Top Ten Commandments
D.I.Y. Weeping Madonna | God's LiveJournal | Butter Last Supper
By: Dave
Sunday, Jun 9th 2002 (12:18am)
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Saturday, June 8th
Ever had marmite? It's that dark yeasty gunk left over from making beer, but spread on toast and crackers. Do you love it or do you hate it? Let the world know.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 8th 2002 (12:58am)
The future of pointing devices is upon us: Monkey brains move cursor! Think of the implications - you could surf for porn without needing your hands! You could let the monkey brains on your desk do it!
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 8th 2002 (12:25am)
Soccer's a pretty dull game, but it would be greatly improved if the players were on, say, riding mowers. It should be an olympic sport!
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 8th 2002 (12:25am)
Apparantly the Dead Kennedeys are touring again, but without Jello Biafra. That's like Elvis' backup band playing without the King. Here's a video of 3 guys going to a DK concert with the sole intention of throwing Jello at the band to protest Biafra's absence.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 8th 2002 (12:25am)
Friday, June 7th
Why do I have to bait you? Just do it. You know you want to! So CLICK THE DAMN LINK!
By: Scott
Friday, Jun 7th 2002 (8:57pm)
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Captain's log. I'm... sitting on the bridge. I... can't find my... chair. It's gone. I can only suspect that a filthy Klingon has put it up for sale on e-Bay. Kirk out.
By: chimpy
Friday, Jun 7th 2002 (1:19pm)
Dee Dee Ramone, a founding member of the pioneer punk band the Ramones, was found dead of a possible drug overdose in his Hollywood home, the coroner's office said Thursday. He was 50.
By: Dave
Friday, Jun 7th 2002 (12:16am)
Copies of Spider-Man 2 have been discovered circulating in IRC and on pirate sites. Experts say this is the first time a movie has been pirated before it has even been filmed.
By: Dave
Friday, Jun 7th 2002 (12:12am)
Up for auction today is a genuine, guaranteed "caps lock" key. This amazing key performs the function of changing your typing from all capital letters to all small letters. This key can also be used to capitalize the first letter of a sentence or a proper name, but this usage is not recommended. I may have another key up for auction soon which is especially made to accomplish this task.
By: Dave
Friday, Jun 7th 2002 (12:07am)
Is Buzzy getting a little portly? Then join Fly-BMI, the online community for owners of obese houseflies. At this site you can calculate your fly's Body Mass Index (BMI) and ascertain whether or not your houseflies are overweight or merely vertically challenged.
By: Dave
Friday, Jun 7th 2002 (12:03am)
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