A herd of wild elephants driven berserk by country liquor trampled to death six people, among them four children, during a rampage in India's northeastern state of Assam. How many times in the past few years has something like this happened? I dunno, but it's a lot.
Wednesday, Dec 18th 2002 (12:15am)
American "self-transcendence advocate" Sri Chinmoy has set an unlikely world record - that of lifting 1,000 sheep. The fitness and spiritual health guru said he had done it to express his "deep appreciation for New Zealand" by lifting what he called the national icon.
Friday, Dec 13th 2002 (12:24am)
Several rats in Nebraska were winners of Olympic medals in an unique competition that features the animals lifting weights and even long-distance jumping against each other. Things sound pretty boring out there in corn land.
Saturday, Dec 7th 2002 (4:22pm)
Huge King crabs invading Norwegian waters from neighbouring Russia have been found further north than ever before. "This is the introduction of an alien species, which is always negative," said Mr Sundet, of the Norwegian Institute of Fisheries and Aquaculture Research. "We should do what we can to get rid of them."
Wednesday, Dec 4th 2002 (12:15am)
Our kitten Dusty, made famous recently by the Nobel-nominated Fancy Feast flash, has turned up online once again... at Rate My Kitten. Give 'er a 10, it'll increase her value when I auction her off on eBay.
Tuesday, Nov 12th 2002 (12:22am)
A squirrel is spreading terror in a Cheshire town where it keeps attacking people. The rogue squirrel's latest attack was on toddler Kelsi Morley who was bitten on the forehead. "It was awful because she was spinning around and we couldn't get it off," her mother told the newspaper. Fortunately, this nut-storing hellspawn is no longer a threat, as Granddad Guns Down Terror Squirrel.
Tuesday, Nov 12th 2002 (12:09am)
Wow, here's the headline of the day: Chicken Vampire with Kangaroo Head Terrorizes Farmers!
Friday, Oct 25th 2002 (12:22am)
Dairy show judges wonder the same thing oglers do when they see a well-endowed female: Are those real? Cows are being given bovine "boob jobs" - injections to help the little miss look her best in the show ring and cheat her way to a lucrative trophy.
Tuesday, Oct 8th 2002 (12:11am)
Edle Moerch is confined to a wheelchair and in order to move more easily around her apartment she often leaves her front door open all day. For a curious and hungry badger this proved to be an irresistible temptation. Shortly afterwards the beast found itself trapped in a confusing world of period furniture and breakables.
Thursday, Oct 3rd 2002 (12:05am)
And this motherfucker right here makes me wish I could take out all my rage on him. I want to cut his throat, bleed him into a cup, and drink his blood as he watches me so that it's the last thing he sees before death!
Tuesday, Oct 1st 2002 (12:15am)
Flatworms are hermaphroditic - but that's not what's so odd about them. The odd thing is that for flatworms, sex is like war where they viciously stab their wormy dorks into each other in a little dance known as Penis Fencing! Reminds me of camp.
Tuesday, Oct 1st 2002 (12:15am)
The fish live.
Two months after Crofton's snakehead infestation became an international sensation, one month after a panel of experts picked its poison to flush the fish from the pond, and almost two weeks after an herbicidal cocktail was sprayed over the water, the fish are still biting. THEY JUST WON'T DIE!!!
Thursday, Sep 5th 2002 (12:04am)
While Keiko the killer whale frolicked in a western Norwegian fjord Tuesday, a local whale expert warned that Keiko may not survive the winter. If he doesn't detach himself from humans soon, it may be best to destroy him, he said. Nice sentiment, killing the whale 'for his own good', but I suspect the REAL reason they want him dead is because he's fucking up the local salmon industry.
Wednesday, Sep 4th 2002 (12:01am)
Your most productive day of the week?
Nothing! Player's off!
Patriots Day (2016)
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