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A squirrel is spreading terror in a Cheshire town where it keeps attacking people. The rogue squirrel's latest attack was on toddler Kelsi Morley who was bitten on the forehead. "It was awful because she was spinning around and we couldn't get it off," her mother told the newspaper. Fortunately, this nut-storing hellspawn is no longer a threat, as Granddad Guns Down Terror Squirrel.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Nov 12th 2002 (12:09am)
Is there nothing we can't learn from the animal kingdom? Gay sheep may help explain biology of gay people.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Nov 5th 2002 (12:09am)
Essential survival knowledge: How To Not Be Eaten By A Duck.
By: Dave
Saturday, Nov 2nd 2002 (12:25am)
Crank up the speakers, here is an HTML soundboard that will make your cats loopy! Better than catnip because it's reusable!
By: Dave
Monday, Oct 28th 2002 (12:24am)
Next to just seeing and playing with a pussy, the best enjoyment out there is watching your pussy rock the house. Music will never be the same - and check out that vines soundtrack!
By: chimpy
Friday, Oct 25th 2002 (1:24pm)
Dogs gone wild! Hot, stinky, uncensored canine action! FETCH!

Hunter fetches bullet from poochy | Death by boobage | Happy Hour Hounds | Bach, Britney and Bowser | Supersoakin' Dog Hero | Dingo Theft
By: Hellvis
Friday, Oct 25th 2002 (9:22am)
Dairy show judges wonder the same thing oglers do when they see a well-endowed female: Are those real? Cows are being given bovine "boob jobs" - injections to help the little miss look her best in the show ring and cheat her way to a lucrative trophy.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Oct 8th 2002 (12:11am)
Have you imagined what would happen if a deer played 'chicken' with a DODGE DURANGO?
By: chimpy
Friday, Oct 4th 2002 (1:28pm)
Edle Moerch is confined to a wheelchair and in order to move more easily around her apartment she often leaves her front door open all day. For a curious and hungry badger this proved to be an irresistible temptation. Shortly afterwards the beast found itself trapped in a confusing world of period furniture and breakables.
By: Dave
Thursday, Oct 3rd 2002 (12:05am)
Cats do some truly bizarre things - stare at the walls, eat Easter grass, talk to flies, carry wads of cellophane around the house like a prized dead bird... and, of course, painting.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Oct 2nd 2002 (12:15am)
And this motherfucker right here makes me wish I could take out all my rage on him. I want to cut his throat, bleed him into a cup, and drink his blood as he watches me so that it's the last thing he sees before death!
By: Scott
Tuesday, Oct 1st 2002 (12:15am)
Flatworms are hermaphroditic - but that's not what's so odd about them. The odd thing is that for flatworms, sex is like war where they viciously stab their wormy dorks into each other in a little dance known as Penis Fencing! Reminds me of camp.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Oct 1st 2002 (12:15am)
Scientists have uncovered a mutation that gives sheep beautiful buttocks. I'm just as stunned as you are.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Sep 18th 2002 (12:11am)
The fish live.

Two months after Crofton's snakehead infestation became an international sensation, one month after a panel of experts picked its poison to flush the fish from the pond, and almost two weeks after an herbicidal cocktail was sprayed over the water, the fish are still biting. THEY JUST WON'T DIE!!!
By: Dave
Thursday, Sep 5th 2002 (12:04am)
While Keiko the killer whale frolicked in a western Norwegian fjord Tuesday, a local whale expert warned that Keiko may not survive the winter. If he doesn't detach himself from humans soon, it may be best to destroy him, he said. Nice sentiment, killing the whale 'for his own good', but I suspect the REAL reason they want him dead is because he's fucking up the local salmon industry.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Sep 4th 2002 (12:01am)
With Bonsai Kitten, a world of variation awaits you, limited only by your own imagination. By physically constraining the growth of a developing living thing, it can be directed to take the shape of the vessel that constrains it. Just as a topiary gardener produces bushes that take the forms of animals or any other thing, you no longer need be satisfied with a housepet having the same mundane shape as all other members of its species.
By: Some Nobody
Thursday, Aug 29th 2002 (4:51pm)
Florida fishermen are getting bitchslapped by leaping sturgeon at an alarming rate. Could this be the beginning of the great resistance?
By: Dave
Tuesday, Aug 13th 2002 (12:14am)
Here's your moment of zen for the day, a morning news show interview guy is viciously attacked by a gecko.
By: Dave
Monday, Aug 12th 2002 (8:14am)
Earlier this week we reported on the dreaded snakehead fish invasion - if you still need more information about this voracious amphibious killing machine, here's some snakehead facts from the knowledgable folks at the Onion.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 31st 2002 (12:23am)
A bizarre love triangle between a Canada Goose, a local family, and the outboard motor on the family's boat, is developing on the Somass River in Port Alberni, on Vancouver Island.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 30th 2002 (12:25am)
The latest predator threat to mankind is the ferocious amphibious snakehead fish - with its slavering fangs of death and voracious appetite, surely our time on this planet as the dominant species is winding down. Of course, the people in Singapore think we're just overreacting doodooheads.
By: Dave
Monday, Jul 29th 2002 (12:19am)
Mystery Link
click at your own risk
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Survey Says

Best Song About Masturbation


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