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Have you imagined what would happen if a deer played 'chicken' with a DODGE DURANGO?
By: chimpy
Friday, Oct 4th 2002 (1:28pm)
Edle Moerch is confined to a wheelchair and in order to move more easily around her apartment she often leaves her front door open all day. For a curious and hungry badger this proved to be an irresistible temptation. Shortly afterwards the beast found itself trapped in a confusing world of period furniture and breakables.
By: Dave
Thursday, Oct 3rd 2002 (12:05am)
Cats do some truly bizarre things - stare at the walls, eat Easter grass, talk to flies, carry wads of cellophane around the house like a prized dead bird... and, of course, painting.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Oct 2nd 2002 (12:15am)
And this motherfucker right here makes me wish I could take out all my rage on him. I want to cut his throat, bleed him into a cup, and drink his blood as he watches me so that it's the last thing he sees before death!
By: Scott
Tuesday, Oct 1st 2002 (12:15am)
Flatworms are hermaphroditic - but that's not what's so odd about them. The odd thing is that for flatworms, sex is like war where they viciously stab their wormy dorks into each other in a little dance known as Penis Fencing! Reminds me of camp.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Oct 1st 2002 (12:15am)
Scientists have uncovered a mutation that gives sheep beautiful buttocks. I'm just as stunned as you are.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Sep 18th 2002 (12:11am)
The fish live.

Two months after Crofton's snakehead infestation became an international sensation, one month after a panel of experts picked its poison to flush the fish from the pond, and almost two weeks after an herbicidal cocktail was sprayed over the water, the fish are still biting. THEY JUST WON'T DIE!!!
By: Dave
Thursday, Sep 5th 2002 (12:04am)
While Keiko the killer whale frolicked in a western Norwegian fjord Tuesday, a local whale expert warned that Keiko may not survive the winter. If he doesn't detach himself from humans soon, it may be best to destroy him, he said. Nice sentiment, killing the whale 'for his own good', but I suspect the REAL reason they want him dead is because he's fucking up the local salmon industry.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Sep 4th 2002 (12:01am)
With Bonsai Kitten, a world of variation awaits you, limited only by your own imagination. By physically constraining the growth of a developing living thing, it can be directed to take the shape of the vessel that constrains it. Just as a topiary gardener produces bushes that take the forms of animals or any other thing, you no longer need be satisfied with a housepet having the same mundane shape as all other members of its species.
By: Some Nobody
Thursday, Aug 29th 2002 (4:51pm)
Florida fishermen are getting bitchslapped by leaping sturgeon at an alarming rate. Could this be the beginning of the great resistance?
By: Dave
Tuesday, Aug 13th 2002 (12:14am)
Here's your moment of zen for the day, a morning news show interview guy is viciously attacked by a gecko.
By: Dave
Monday, Aug 12th 2002 (8:14am)
Earlier this week we reported on the dreaded snakehead fish invasion - if you still need more information about this voracious amphibious killing machine, here's some snakehead facts from the knowledgable folks at the Onion.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 31st 2002 (12:23am)
A bizarre love triangle between a Canada Goose, a local family, and the outboard motor on the family's boat, is developing on the Somass River in Port Alberni, on Vancouver Island.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 30th 2002 (12:25am)
The latest predator threat to mankind is the ferocious amphibious snakehead fish - with its slavering fangs of death and voracious appetite, surely our time on this planet as the dominant species is winding down. Of course, the people in Singapore think we're just overreacting doodooheads.
By: Dave
Monday, Jul 29th 2002 (12:19am)
What a marvel of medical science! Way back when I was a kid, if a donkey bit off your wiener, you could pretty much count it gone forever... but not anymore!
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 26th 2002 (12:16am)
More than 400 sheep took the big dirt nap this weekend in mountainous southeastern France.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 24th 2002 (1:01am)
Say hi to Muffin when you see him at the Crossroads.
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jul 24th 2002 (12:06am)
Dammit Snappy, get off Yang.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jul 20th 2002 (12:21am)
Are you ready to catch a BIG ONE? Do you wanna make your fingers smell ALL FISHY? Are you ready for an explicit sub-aquatic experience? Yeah? Then have a go at Prawnography!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 17th 2002 (12:02am)
Dogs are stupidly obedient, cats are intentionally standoffish, and birds are fucking thieves.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 9th 2002 (12:14am)
A giraffe suspected of killing a US pastor at a luxury Kenyan hotel jumped to his death from a cliff after resisting attempts to examine its hooves for bloodstains, the hotel manager said on Wednesday.
By: Dave
Friday, Jun 28th 2002 (12:16am)
All cats, especially kittens, are just about the cutest damn things on the planet... but somehow or another, those kooky kids at b3ta.com have managed to narrow it down to the Top 10 Cutest Kittens!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:27am)
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