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A former inmate is suing his former nurse for failing to properly treat a 55-hour-long kickstand, supposedly a side-effect of taking antidepressants. I assume 'proper treatment' was to include some form of non-mustachioed mouthification.
By: dave
Friday, Jun 12th 2009 (7:16am) | Thanks: brady
Although it may not seem like a big deal, Pringles being legally classified as a potato chip just cost manufacturer Proctor and Gamble $160,000,000.
By: dave
Monday, Jun 1st 2009 (7:25am)
For the love of us and everyone else, just DO IT!

NSFW due to nudity and potential laughing outbursts.
By: ZiB
Tuesday, Apr 28th 2009 (12:08pm)
Sure, it makes you look retarded, but should it make you a criminal?
By: dave
Monday, Apr 20th 2009 (12:06am)
(more)   [Comments: 0]
Rob a store and return the cash = $75k bail
Stab a roomie in the chest for farting = $15k bail
By: ZiB
Saturday, Apr 11th 2009 (8:17pm)
(more)   [Comments: 0]
I've always said that once they've tapped dry the wellspring that is smokers and drinkers, the new pariahs would be the fatties.
By: dave
Thursday, Mar 12th 2009 (9:08am) | Thanks: Kasey
State Senator Robert Ford is hoping to outlaw lewd language and is pushing for a bill that would prohibit profanity.

Under the pre-filed bill, profanity could land you in jail for up to 5 years and/or cost you up to $5,000 in fines.


What kind of dicklipped assbutt shitstain would even propose such a fuckwit bill? Hasn't he read the motherfucking constitution?
By: dave
Monday, Jan 26th 2009 (4:16am)
Probably.
By: dave
Wednesday, Nov 26th 2008 (12:14am)
Just the one I was waiting for: Spelled out that breast implants are not subject to state sales taxes.
By: ZiB
Monday, Sep 29th 2008 (12:06pm)
Nebraska was the last state to pass a safe haven law - the law that allows for abandoning infants without question or penalty at safe places like hospitals and fire stations - and they didn't word it very well. The upshot is that any child can be surrendered without consequence, but the age range was never defined.

This has led to a rash of Nebraskans abandoning their punk teenage kids. Whoops.
By: dave
Monday, Sep 29th 2008 (5:47am)
Egyptian con man gets 1000 years.
By: dave
Friday, May 16th 2008 (6:53am)
The REAL travesty is the move to keep toddlers from getting married.
By: dave
Thursday, Apr 3rd 2008 (5:54am)
...but even I don't have the cojones to sue God.
By: boho-daddy
Tuesday, Sep 18th 2007 (5:51pm)
Local Detroit Thug takes the stand today to defend firing of whistle-blower and deny corruption lawsuit. With any luck, he'll be out by noon (of a job, that is).
By: timmy242
Wednesday, Aug 29th 2007 (7:26am)
(more)   [Comments: 1]
In one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Aug 29th 2007 (6:48am)
Legislation would allow workers to sue their boss for being a jerk.
By: boho-daddy
Friday, Aug 24th 2007 (8:36am)
A Shreveport lawyer, up on charges for not filing federal income tax returns for 10 years, has been found not guilty by a jury because, as the 'kooks' have contended all along, they could find no law on the books requiring him to do so.

This is HUGE.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 20th 2007 (7:31am)
Vermont town bans public nudity after brash displays
By: boho-daddy
Wednesday, Jul 18th 2007 (12:00pm)
This guy should have used my dad's tried-and-true method: when they ask you to define a 'reasonable doubt', tell 'em that if you doubt it, it must be reasonable.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 10th 2007 (8:06am)
"I respect the jury's verdict. But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive. Therefore, I am commuting the portion of Mr. Libby's sentence that required him to spend thirty months in prison."

In a single move, the prez pulls all the teeth out of the judicial system. Good goin' George.

Give 'em a call and let the White House know what you think. 202-456-1414.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 3rd 2007 (8:25am)
Rather than correct a blatant blurring of the church-state separation line, the supreme court has now ruled that the ordinary taxpayer cannot challenge a white house initiative to grant religious charities federal funds.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 26th 2007 (7:50am)
New York has banned the term 'nigger'.

In other news, 'wop', 'kike', 'dago', 'slant', and 'gook' are all still perfectly acceptable.
By: Dave
Friday, Mar 2nd 2007 (6:00am)
New target: apartment buildings. Can private homes be far behind?
By: boho-daddy
Tuesday, Jan 16th 2007 (11:01am)
A judge recently ruled that a burrito is not a sandwich.
By: Dave
Monday, Nov 13th 2006 (12:15am)
A young Trinidadian who was sentenced to one year on a deserted island by the Maldives government has been released and now back home.
By: Dave
Thursday, Oct 5th 2006 (6:45am)
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