If you're a regular reader of the log here on Mondays, you've no doubt noticed from the Fuckoff Theater posts (now on temporary hiatus) that I loves me some pretty crappy movies. No surprise then, that Paste Magazine's list of the 100 best stinkers contains many personal favorites.
Monday, May 12th 2014 (5:01am)
If you're a fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, check out this breakdown of SnakeCharmer's chronological supercut of the movies leading up to The Avengers. Me, I gotta see this.
Thursday, Apr 24th 2014 (12:00am)
Monday again - you can either go merge back into the rat race, or you can lay around in your underwear eating cereal and watching movies. Today's temptation is Allan Arkush's Get Crazy, a damn-the-man comedy about saving a musical venue with a star-studded cast including Malcolm McDowell as a thinly-veiled Mick Jagger, Ed Begley Jr, Daniel Stern, and the late great Lou Reed as a thinly-veiled Lou Reed.
Monday, Apr 14th 2014 (12:02am)
Another Monday, another choice: to go merge back into the rat race or to stay at home watching movies. Today's enticement to the lazy side is Demian Lichtenstein's 3000 Miles to Graceland, a story of a Vegas casino robbery gone horribly awry. Stars Kevin Costner, Kurt Russell, Christian Slater, and David Arquette... all as Elvis.
Monday, Mar 24th 2014 (5:11am)
Another Monday, another decision - to go into work and earn the mortgage or to lay around in your robe and watch movies all day. To help you choose, today's offering is Russ Meyer's ode to the violence in women, Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! - the tale of hard-driving go-go dancers and the consequences of crossing their paths. Stars the incomparable Tura Satana as the iconic Varla, Haji, Lori Williams, and Stuart Lancaster as the old man.
Monday, Mar 17th 2014 (12:01am)
Monday! Gonna go to work, or lay around all day watching movies? If you've opted for the latter, today's offering is Sally Potter's beautifully bizarre adaptation of Virgina Woolfe's Orlando, the tale of an English nobleman who is seemingly immortal and generally ambiguous about his gender. Stars Billy Zane, Quentin Crisp, Dudley Sutton, and the always-amazing Tilda Swinton as the titular Orlando.
Monday, Mar 10th 2014 (12:00am)
Monday - do you go to work and pay bills, or blow it all off and watch movies? To help you decide, here's another one of Peter Jackson's earlier masterpieces, 1989's Meet The Feebles - a peek at the seamy underbelly of prime-time puppet variety entertainment. Stars a bunch of people you won't recognize but who cares because PUPPETS FUCKING.
Monday, Mar 3rd 2014 (12:08am)
Monday is here again, time to choose whether to go back into the salt mines or to lay around watching movies instead. Today's offering is Richard Linklater's appropriately-named debut Slacker, a truly linear film where you never see a character again once they've interacted with the next character they come aross. Innovative and unabashed, Slacker stars Linklater himself as the first link in a chain of events that introduces you to weirdies and wackadoos that make up the counterculture of Austin in the early 90's.
Monday, Feb 24th 2014 (12:01am)
Monday! Also Presidents Day, so lots of folks don't have to work. If you're not one of them... become one of them! Blow off the day's productivity and watch movies instead. This week we offer Tom Holland's made-for-tv retelling of Stephen King's The Langoliers, which explores the natures of time and sanity from within a wayward jet airplane. Stars Dean Stockwell, that guy from St. Elsewhere, Patricia Wettig and Balki Bartokomous as the batshit crazy Craig Toomey.
Monday, Feb 17th 2014 (6:25am)
The LEGO Movie opened at #1 at the box office last weekend. I doubt that this video contains any actual spoilers. Itís an awful lot of trouble to make a blooper reel for an animated film, but often worth the effort. Most of these are actual bloopers from the audio recording sessions made into animated sequences, although a few are actually scripted.
Monday again. Sure, you could opt to apply your nose back to the grindstone, or you could blow off the day and hang around watching movies instead. To help you decide, here's Don Chaffey's epic Jason and the Argonauts, a tale of golden fleeces being quested and Greek gods fuckin' with the normals. Stars a bunch of people you don't know, but that's not important - animation effects by the incomparable Harry Harryhausen. 'Nuff said.
Monday, Feb 10th 2014 (12:02am)
Who says that Mondays are the only days to skip doing actual work and just watch a movie at your workstation?
Leslie Nielsen starred in this critic's bomb.
After death of a man who managed summer camp for kids, his son-in-law plans to close it and build a luxury summer resort. However, manager's friend, Harry has an idea how to save the children's camp.
Friday, Feb 7th 2014 (12:11pm)
Another Monday, another choice before you - to be productive and go back to work, or to lay around all day watching movies. This week's offering is David Cronenberg's Scanners, a story of the power struggle amongst the psychic community complete in all its head-popping glory. Stars Jennifer O'Neill, Patrick McGoohan, Lawrence Dane, and the mighty mighty Michael Ironside as Revok.
Monday, Feb 3rd 2014 (3:36am)
Sure, you could start your week with a frenzy of productivity by going to work, OR you could lay around all morning watching movies instead. This week's offering is The Night That Panicked America, a made-for-tv dramatization of the hysteria surrounding Orson Wells' 1938 radio broadcast The War of the Worlds. We really do come off looking like a pack of rubes. Stars John Ritter, Eileen Brennan, Tom Bosley, and the always-captivating Meredith Baxter-Birney.
Monday, Jan 27th 2014 (12:02am)
Even if you don't have the day off for MLK, you should still consider ditching the day job and cozying up with this week's lure to laze away your morning: Stan Dragoti's classic Disco Dracula tale Love at First Bite, starring George Hamilton at the height of swankdom, Susan Saint James, Richard Benjamin, and Arte Johnson as the best Renfield ever.
Monday, Jan 20th 2014 (4:51am)
Monday is upon us again, time to choose whether you face the work week or piss away the day watching movies instead. This morning's lure is David Cronenberg's Videodrome, an uncomfortably weird tale of UHF programming with an insidious agenda. Stars James Woods, Lynne Gorman, Jack Creely, and Blondie's Deborah Harry in various stages of undress and distress. LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH.
Monday, Jan 13th 2014 (12:02am)
Monday. Time to go back down into the salt mines and eke out that living... OR! You could stay home and watch movies all day, starting with Walter Hill's epic thriller The Warriors, the tale of a New York street gang trying to get back home safely after being framed for murder. This rip is, unfortunately, of the video release with comic-booky transitions and stuff, but it still beats workin'.
Monday, Jan 6th 2014 (12:06am)
It may be Monday, but at least it's the last one of the year. If you're expected to go to work today, consider instead just laying around in your undies and watching a movie. Today's offering is Stanley Kubrick's excellent visualization of Anthony Burgess' A Clockwork Orange, the tale of a vicious young hooligan and the nature of reform. Although sadly missing the final chapter (as was the American release of the book), this is one of the most gripping and stylized indictments of societal mores ever presented. Stars Malcom McDowell, Patrick Magee, David Prowse, and the always-excellent Aubrey Morris as the persistent Mr. Deltoid.
Monday, Dec 30th 2013 (7:42am)
Monday. You gonna go to work and earn that check or lay around the house watching movies? If you lean toward the latter, here's Robert Zemeckis' Used Cars, a tale of two warring brothers with competing car lots across the street from each other in Mesa, Arizona. Jack Warden plays both Fuchs brothers, with Kurt Russell, Gerrit Graham, Wendie Jo Sperber, and more B-listers than you can shake a pair of fuzzy dice at.
Monday, Dec 16th 2013 (12:01am)
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Monday again - time to choose, do you go to work or do you lay around watching movies? This week's selection for those of you who opt to stay in is Jack Sholder's The Hidden, a crime drama that turns into gory sci-fi as an FBI agent and his criminal prey both turn out to be crafty - and highly mobile - aliens. Stars Kyle MacLachlan, Michael Nouri, Claudette Christain, and the always-lovable Danny Trejo.
Monday, Dec 9th 2013 (4:36am)
Have a nice long holiday weekend, did you? Sweet, me too. Unfortunately, we are now faced with the prospect of going back down into the salt mines to eke out our meager living... or, you could just lay around in your undies all day and watch movies. This week's seduction for the lethargic is Kevin Smith's surprisingly spiritual critique of the beaurocracy between man and god, 1999's Dogma. Stars Matt & Ben, George Carlin, Linda Fiorentino, Jason Lee, and (of course) Jason & Kev.
Monday, Dec 2nd 2013 (12:01am)
What do you take for a headache?
Nothing! Player's off!
Great Wall, The (2016)
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