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If you're gonna moon a restaurant window, don't push too hard.
By: dave
Friday, Jun 6th 2008 (6:20am)
Try shooting through the wall instead. Just make sure there's nobody on the other side.
By: dave
Thursday, Mar 27th 2008 (6:41am)
Obviously after taking the first shot to the shoulder, your next course of action should be to look up and open your mouth.
By: dave
Friday, Jan 25th 2008 (5:05am)
A property manager is trying to collect 3 months' rent from a bereaved family because the tenant failed to give 60 days' notice of his sudden lease-breaking death. Charming.
By: dave
Friday, Dec 21st 2007 (4:32pm)
Environmentalist and former McCartney Heather Mills pulled up to an impromptu environment rally in her Mercedes 4x4 and tried to convince everyone that drinking rat's milk will save the planet.

Swing and a miss, Eileen. Nice try though.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Nov 21st 2007 (6:52am)
(more)   [Comments: 1]
Got a flat? Can't get the lug nuts off?

Got a shotgun?
By: dave
Thursday, Nov 15th 2007 (10:28am)
She should sue her parents for raising a moron.
By: Sunny
Friday, Nov 9th 2007 (8:34am)
Are you sick of idiots who glorify the idiotic exploits of other idiots? Me too. In the same vein as that Uber Idiot, the "Grizzly Man", I give you another overly romanticized idiot, Christopher McCandless.
By: timmy242
Friday, Sep 21st 2007 (12:24pm)
(more)   [Comments: 2]
A recent poll showed that 1 in 5 Americans can't locate the USA on a map. Here's a good example why.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Aug 28th 2007 (6:15am)
...dwarves with vacuum cleaners on their wangs are a recipe for disaster.
By: Dave
Thursday, Aug 23rd 2007 (6:45am)
Nine out of ten Americans polled think texting while driving is dangerous.

That other 10 percent is why insurance rates are through the roof, you know.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Aug 7th 2007 (6:32am)
Remember Ward Churchill? The CU Board of Regents will vote today on whether to fire Churchill for academic misconduct. Look for the news conference around 4PM.
By: boho-daddy
Tuesday, Jul 24th 2007 (11:55am)
Well fucking wonder no more.

I feel sick.
By: Scott
Saturday, Jun 9th 2007 (8:38pm)
or Mick Jagger being an idiot? You decide.
By: Sunny
Tuesday, May 22nd 2007 (10:42am)
Thousands of Japanese have been swindled in a scam in which they were sold Australian and British sheep and told they were poodles.
By: boho-daddy
Friday, Apr 27th 2007 (10:17am)
This video should be a candidate for the Darwin Awards. The guy loops his kid through the steering wheel, zips along city streets and then tries taking a couple of hard turns. Amazing!
By: PlainusDonuticus
Thursday, Apr 12th 2007 (4:39pm)
Cmon, it's just a little spoonful of cinnamon. How bad could it be?
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jan 17th 2007 (6:12am)
Is this the reason Bob's retiring?
By: J20
Thursday, Nov 2nd 2006 (8:49am)
A woman in Hohhot, the capital of north China's Inner Mongolia region, crashed her car while giving her dog a driving lesson.
By: Sunny
Monday, Aug 28th 2006 (1:03pm)
Oh, this is rich - a pro-lifer got his mitts on an Onion article titled 'I'm totally psyched about this abortion!' and went to town on it, thinking it legit. 3 posts and thousands of comments later, he still doesn't get it.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 12th 2006 (8:53am)
(more)   [Comments: 0]
So, remember that Stupid Bitch who wouldn't give that Katrina victim's doggie back? Here's an update where the Stupid Fucking Bitch actually consulted the Dog Whisperer on the issue, who told her to give that puppy back!
By: timmy242
Wednesday, Jul 5th 2006 (2:07pm)
Family loses dog after Katrina. Pennsylvania woman takes in lost dog. Family discovers lost dog but stupid bitch won't give dog over to rightful owners.

I'm thinking this is the stupid bitch's phone number. Not advocating anything, just sayin'.
By: timmy242
Wednesday, Jun 28th 2006 (10:25am)
When holding a baby shower, make sure people check their guns at the door.
By: Mr._Dog
Thursday, Apr 6th 2006 (6:39am)
So, I was a teenager in high school when the Hacky Sack craze took hold - it was a fun way to kill time between classes and such, but we never considered it to be anything extreme... of course, we had never considered setting the sack on fire.
By: Dave
Monday, Apr 3rd 2006 (7:14am)
A stewardess caused panic by repeatedly screaming "We're going to crash" when a packed plane hit turbulance.

The post is ending! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
By: Mr._Dog
Friday, Mar 10th 2006 (6:05am)
Monday


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