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Here at the Burger King Therapy Center we strive to be a compassionate solace for the tortured & battered souls of past, present and future BK employees. We hope you will find comfort in being here - A place to share your stories, your tears and your victories. Or just laugh everyone else's!
By: Some Nobody
Tuesday, Sep 10th 2002 (12:11am)
The Mission: To visit every Denny's restaurant in the world (or at least as many as possible), getting lots of free stuff along the way.

I have been a Denny's fan for as long as I can remember. When I was a wee lad, my grandfather would take me there for breakfast. As I grew older, I quickly realized the benefit of a place where you can get semi-decent coffee and an omelet any time of the day or night. Sure, all the food tastes the same and it always leave a thick layer of grease on your plate, but where else can you get a Moons Over My Hammy?
By: Some Nobody
Monday, Sep 9th 2002 (12:08am)
If you are easily offened, go to hell. If you don't like pizza, go to hell. If you hate this site, go to hell. If you have a problem with it, contact me. And if you are my mom, you are not allowed to view these pages.
By: Some Nobody
Sunday, Sep 8th 2002 (10:11pm)
Ladies love sweet, smooth taste, like the inside of a cream filled, chocolate Valentine candy... Put a smile on your cumdrinkers' faces.
By: goofyfish
Friday, Sep 6th 2002 (11:15am)
Impress the ladies with your culinary skills when you present them with a stylish, nutritious serving of Underpant Toast!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Sep 3rd 2002 (12:03am)
They are gorging on mountains of lobster, oysters and fillet steak at the Johannesburg conference — aimed at ending FAMINE. It includes 5,000 oysters, more than 1,000lbs of lobster and other shellfish, buckets of caviar and piles of pâté de foie gras. Also, more than 4,400lbs of fillet steak and chicken breasts, 450lbs of salmon, 220lbs of a tasty South African fish called kingclip — and more than 1,000lbs of bacon and sausages.
By: Some Nobody
Thursday, Aug 29th 2002 (7:23am)
The versatility of urine is immense; it's a colouring, it's a flavouring. With salads it's a refreshing dressing, with stews it's a hearty, salty stock. And on its own it's... well... warm.
By: Dave
Thursday, Aug 29th 2002 (12:01am)
Cinnamon - The Evil, Wayward Altoid.
By: Dave
Thursday, Aug 22nd 2002 (12:21am)
Nothing says 'high society' like classy hors d'oveurs, so break out the pearls and your finest silver and serve up some Party Pigs!
By: Dave
Friday, Aug 9th 2002 (8:06am)
Introducing Frooze Pops, the latest subtle offering from the pedophiles that run the candy industry. It's a phallic-shaped hard candy lollipop that will, once you've slobbed it down a bit, spurt sugary spooge out the tip when you squeeze the base. Kids love 'em!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Aug 7th 2002 (12:11am)
YO TROOPERS PEEP THIS, KNOCKIN' BOOTS IS STOOPID FRESH. BUT ON THE SERIOUS TIP, YOU HAVE TO PROTECT YOURSELF. BOYZ DON'T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT YOUR JIM HAT (JIMMY CAP, SHOWER CAP, RAIN COAT). GIRLZ, MAKE A POSITIVE MOVE. FROM THE GIT GO KNOW THE WAYS TO PROTECT YOURSELF. YOU CAN ALWAYS SAY NO. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, ASK YOUR TEACHER, PARENT OR COUNSELOR. THAT'S THE STRAIGHT UP TRUTH, BELIEVE DAT. IN YOUR FACE.

Ice cream + street advice + goofy whiteboy ebonics = Posse Pops.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 26th 2002 (7:27am)
Where do Gummi Bears come from? No, not the Haribo factory. They actually come from other Gummi Bears. Who knew?
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 23rd 2002 (12:55am)
People around the world are complaining about the rising cost of gasoline. Haven't they been paying attention to the cost of bottled water?! People are paying as much as 250% more for water than gas these days. Now you can affordably drink good h2o by making your own with dehydrated water!
By: Dave
Monday, Jul 22nd 2002 (12:08am)
For as long as anyone can remember, dogs have not only been man's best friend, but they have also been man's best meal.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 16th 2002 (12:05am)
Are you a meat lover? Dress to the nines from your meat hat down to your pork chop shoes and proclaim your beefy desires from the rooftops!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (12:28am)
Getting tired of tuna helper and Friday meatloaf? Dazzle the kids with the taste sensation of fried unborn bees!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:10am)
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain, still remains
Within the sound of meat.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 11th 2002 (12:27am)
Ever had marmite? It's that dark yeasty gunk left over from making beer, but spread on toast and crackers. Do you love it or do you hate it? Let the world know.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 8th 2002 (12:58am)
Fuck health food! Deep-Fried Twinkies! Yummy!!!!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 4th 2002 (12:35am)
You know, I don't like black jelly beans much, but this guy needs to farkin' RELAX.
By: chimpy
Wednesday, May 29th 2002 (10:38pm)
Next time you're feeling a mite peckish, reach for a sack of paprika-flavored Arafat Chips - they're terrorlicious!
By: Dave
Tuesday, May 28th 2002 (12:20am)
Filler Bunny and Spooky make Boo Berry cookies! Mmmm!
By: Dave
Saturday, May 25th 2002 (12:28am)
Feeling hungry? Want a thrill? Go get one of Wendy's new exploding chicken sandwiches.
By: Dave
Monday, May 20th 2002 (12:18am)
Though Big Macs and drive through windows have proven to be eternally successful staples of fast food, there have been many embarrassing and disgraceful chapters for fast food that deserve remembrance. retroCRUSH is proud to present the 5 worst moments in fast food history.
By: Dave
Saturday, May 18th 2002 (12:06am)
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