Monday, Aug 25th 2003 (12:16am)
As per American custom, today is the day we honor our fallen soldiers by bbq'ing everything in sight! With that in mind, here's some deeply moving lyrics from Guttermouth's Mr. Barbeque:
Hey now, welcome to my houseHappy holiday, white-collar America! Back to work, the rest of ya!
Monday, May 26th 2003 (12:11am)
And just who do we have to thank for this wonderful annual occasion? Yep, the French. Given this new tidbit of information, I won't be pulling any pranks this year* - and I'm sure Sunny's kids will be grateful!
* I may, however, commemorate the heritage of the day by spinelessly surrendering to everyone I see.
Tuesday, Apr 1st 2003 (12:01am)
Just like the poor, VD will always be with us and like herpes, just when you think its gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more.
Yes, Valentine's Day is upon us once more: that special time of year when chocolate manufacturers and greetings card companies encourage you to demonstrate the extent of your fondness in cold, hard, cash (or the satin-hearted equivalent) on February 14th.
This year, celebrate or commiserate by sending an anti-valentine. Send it today, tomorrow, or any day you damn well please. This year, say it with bile.
Pick a card from the following selection...
Friday, Feb 14th 2003 (1:05am)
Well, actually, 2002 was a great year for me - I finally started working again, always had a roof over my head and never had to miss a meal. Nonetheless, it ended on a downer when I totalled my beloved bug on the 31st. We're all ok, a little banged up, but no bones sticking out anywhere and we walked away from it. RIP to my bug and 2002 - and welcome 2003! I'm taking the day off from the site to mourn the car, soothe my aches, and march as Hagrid in the family parade. We'll be back in full swing Thursday.
Wednesday, Jan 1st 2003 (12:25am)
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Every year, stores and CD players are violently invaded by crappy Christmas albums. In addition to compilations of old standbys like “Silent Night”, “Silver Bells” and “The Beautiful People,” you also get crappy Christmas albums by musicians looking to play grabass with the cheerful toilet full of money that is the holiday season. The Something Awful goons aren’t crappy musicians (well, not all of them at least), but they sure are crappy artists! With that said, please allow us to politely shove fistfuls of Christmas down your throat.
Friday, Dec 6th 2002 (9:33am)
In celebration of halloween, here is a rather, dry, informitive article on ghoulies and ghosties and long leggety beasties, and things that go bump in the night.
What is interesting to note once finished reading, is that it was found in the healthy women section. Maybe the hairy and bloodsucking section was full, so they went for second best?
Thursday, Oct 31st 2002 (11:40am)
Best Song About Masturbation
Nothing! Player's off!
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
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