Here's a twist for you mateys! Should we speak like pirates in the literal or figurative sense?
By: indigo_sky
Friday, Sep 19th 2003 (10:50am)
Don't be forgettin' to talk like a pirate today, matey! And have some Talk Like A Pirate Day jokes as well, ya saucy wench!
By: Dave
Friday, Sep 19th 2003 (12:01am)
That's right, we're a mere 7 days from International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Yarrrr!
By: Dave
Friday, Sep 12th 2003 (6:47am)

 Happy birthday, Sunny!
  Happy birthday, Sunny!
   Happy birthday, Sunny!
    Happy birthday, Sunny!
     Happy birthday, Sunny!
      Happy birthday, Sunny!
       Happy birthday, Sunny!
        Happy birthday, Sunny!
         Happy birthday, Sunny!
          Happy birthday, Sunny!
           Happy birthday, Sunny!
            Happy birthday, Sunny!
             Happy birthday, Sunny!
              Happy birthday, Sunny!
By: Dave
Monday, Aug 25th 2003 (12:16am)
So give it up for us guys and gals that keep your computer alive so you can play solitare and surf for porn on the company dime, you incompetent bastards!
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 25th 2003 (12:11am)
Happy 4th, everyone. If you live in a weenie no-fireworks state like I do, on special occasions like today ya just gotta improvise.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 4th 2003 (12:56am)
I didn't realize it until this morning, but Memorial Day was also Wank Holiday Monday. Note to self: next year...
By: Dave
Tuesday, May 27th 2003 (12:01am)
As per American custom, today is the day we honor our fallen soldiers by bbq'ing everything in sight! With that in mind, here's some deeply moving lyrics from Guttermouth's Mr. Barbeque:
Hey now, welcome to my house
I'm gonna' have a BBQ and maybe I'll invite ya'
Gotta side of pork
Gotta' side of creamy salad
Got a jar of cole slaw and a case of lighter fluid
Oh my god!
My arm's on fire!
Somebody pass the dressing!
Everybody remain calm
I'm a professional
Quickly submerge the arm in mayonnaise
Says Mr. BBQ
Happy holiday, white-collar America! Back to work, the rest of ya!
By: Dave
Monday, May 26th 2003 (12:11am)
And THIS time *cough, cough, indigo_sky* with a little notice! It's....

Wear Your Thong To Work Day!
By: Hellvis
Friday, May 9th 2003 (7:33am)
Just what the guys from the Davelog need, another reason to take off their trousers....
By: indigo_sky
Friday, May 2nd 2003 (1:57pm)
And just who do we have to thank for this wonderful annual occasion? Yep, the French. Given this new tidbit of information, I won't be pulling any pranks this year* - and I'm sure Sunny's kids will be grateful!

* I may, however, commemorate the heritage of the day by spinelessly surrendering to everyone I see.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Apr 1st 2003 (12:01am)
What better way to celebrate the other half of that 'pick-one-holiday-to-get-paid-off' duo with MLK than to bust some historical rhyme with the Mutha Fo' Fathers!
By: Dave
Monday, Feb 17th 2003 (12:11am)
Just like the poor, VD will always be with us and like herpes, just when you think its gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more.

Yes, Valentine's Day is upon us once more: that special time of year when chocolate manufacturers and greetings card companies encourage you to demonstrate the extent of your fondness in cold, hard, cash (or the satin-hearted equivalent) on February 14th.

Fuck that.

This year, celebrate or commiserate by sending an anti-valentine. Send it today, tomorrow, or any day you damn well please. This year, say it with bile.

Pick a card from the following selection...
By: Hellvis
Friday, Feb 14th 2003 (1:05am)
Oh man, I totally forgot today is Valentine's Day - I'm such a romantic. Thankfully, the Onion has some adorable valentines for me to print and pass out!
By: Dave
Friday, Feb 14th 2003 (12:15am)
Well, actually, 2002 was a great year for me - I finally started working again, always had a roof over my head and never had to miss a meal. Nonetheless, it ended on a downer when I totalled my beloved bug on the 31st. We're all ok, a little banged up, but no bones sticking out anywhere and we walked away from it. RIP to my bug and 2002 - and welcome 2003! I'm taking the day off from the site to mourn the car, soothe my aches, and march as Hagrid in the family parade. We'll be back in full swing Thursday.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jan 1st 2003 (12:25am)
(more)   [Comments: 2]
Every year, stores and CD players are violently invaded by crappy Christmas albums. In addition to compilations of old standbys like “Silent Night”, “Silver Bells” and “The Beautiful People,” you also get crappy Christmas albums by musicians looking to play grabass with the cheerful toilet full of money that is the holiday season. The Something Awful goons aren’t crappy musicians (well, not all of them at least), but they sure are crappy artists! With that said, please allow us to politely shove fistfuls of Christmas down your throat.
By: Hellvis
Friday, Dec 6th 2002 (9:33am)
In celebration of halloween, here is a rather, dry, informitive article on ghoulies and ghosties and long leggety beasties, and things that go bump in the night.

What is interesting to note once finished reading, is that it was found in the healthy women section. Maybe the hairy and bloodsucking section was full, so they went for second best?
By: faedra
Thursday, Oct 31st 2002 (11:40am)
Get ready, tomorrow is Talk Like a Pirate Day! Here's a lame pirate joke for you to tell over and over tomorrow:

Q: Did you hear about the dirty pirate movie?
A: It was rated ARRRRR!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Sep 18th 2002 (12:18am)

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